I don’t take myself seriously, nor should you.
People have asked both how and why I discovered Hawaii 5-0 this late in the game on the 27th of March 2011, with 19 episodes already aired. The story is simply that: This happened, the response to which was an avalanche of emails guiding me to watch this show and that show and all films Alex O’Loughlin. Watching an episode of Moonlight made me snoozy, while Three Rivers squarely knocked me into REM. Hawaii 5-0, however, was categorically different. Thanks God.
That Feed had lit an overwhelming urge for me to write something / anything = the birth of h50sardonic (as I wait for the brilliant minds who wrote Feed to call me so that I may work with them and we may become friends who ride ferris wheels together. PATRICK THOMPSON!! ALEX O’LOUGHLIN!! KIERAN GALVIN!! CALL ME!!).
Initially, I was recapping Hawaii 5-0 anonymously because elsewhere on the internets, I am a regular contributor to political websites (my favourite of them being rabble.ca) and was both hesitant and quite shy to associate this to that. After consideration with my friends, fellow writers and editor, I was encouraged to simply come clean. So here I am.
My personal website is here, and I welcome a hello at my personal twitter account.
P.S. to the P.S. Read about the very miniscule and special shout-out to this site on the finale of Hawaii 5-0‘s season 1.
this is a great site! Thanks!
Thank you so much! Hope you have subsrcibed
Hello Gorgeous!
This is so great. A nice balance to your more “heavy” writing, although I know all writing is an investment from your soul.
xoxo
EEEEK! My bestie…my bestie’s commenting. “My best friend in the whole wide world” is still one of my favourite of your lines.
Hello, beautiful Golden girl — I love you to bits and pieces, Janey.
Xs + Os to the max
You are a cheeky little monkey. Oh wait, a cute monkey no more, since you came clean and turned out to be one Hell of a beautiful women. Wow! You should replace “Special K” on our show. Seriously.
I LOVE this TV show, it’s writers, characters, local and yes, the kick-ass Camaro (especially the blue lights) which is actually the fifth character of team H5-O. That said, I can’t wait to read your sarcastic and absolutely hysterical recaps of the team and their exploits. You are one funny, clever and naughty little writer and I’ve enjoyed every single line written thus far.
However, I do have one item of contention – your seemingly blase attitude towards the awesomeness of Alex O’Loughlin. As I, along with millions of others, find him to be the sexiest male on prime time or anytime, I’m bewildered by how unimpressed you are with his physique…..thicker than expected and no burning need to see his chest. Girlfriend please! When he emerged out of the ocean in EP 2, my damn contacts popped right out of my head!!
In an attempt to captivate positive feelings (which, for you, seem to resonate further South of his chest) for the awesome AOL, I suggest the Australian movie the “Oyster Farmer,” which showcased a very young AOL. I think most of the movie would bore you (since Moonlight put you to sleep, you obviously run on much higher octane than the rest of us) so as to take less time away from your sardonic writings, fast track to these two scene selections: #5) One layer of pants gone and the best view we (well you might get a crack at it) will ever have of the wondrous delight lurking in those cargo pants. Oh my! Ding…you win a bonus round of tushy shots and many, many tattoos. (Me thinks the H5-0 makeup dept. goes goofy covering all these babies up day after day.) #8) Australians really know how to utilize a pier, movie censorship is pretty lax down-under and hot damn, this man knows how to get a party started in a girl’s panties even when she’s thousands of miles away. Mine are still dancing. See why we fans couldn’t love him more???
I’m also very curious to know in what military branch the SAS belong to. Who the Hell are these guys?? I simply must know more of a group that trump the bad-ass Navy Seals. Please enlightened your fans.
I laughingly join your following and please, please, please….don’t stop..don’t ever stop.
A Loyal and Addicted Fan
Ok. I am pretty sure I am all kinds of in love with YOU, woman.
To answer your Qs:
* I behave as monkey; my looks’r nothing to do w/ me as the thanks there go squarely to mum and dad $exing one another that one time. I’ll call them both to relay your amazing words.
* Yes, I will gladly join the show. Please contact Peter Lenkov and direct his attention this way, thank you kindly.
* I don’t know what to tell you re your hilarious discombobulation per my response to Alex O’Loughlin. I wish to work with him really seriously and truly — in the written word capacity. His film FEED put this want in me.
On a sardonic note, maybe if he finally took off his fkn pants and let me see the Fountain of Youth? Maybe then, I would be a little more enamoured?
I say we test out the theory. Feel free to start a petition.
* SAS Officers are in fact — and agreed to by the military itself — the world’s military elite. They’re a part of the British military and at any given time I think there’s only a handful of them (like, less than hundred, maybe even less than 50) — Wikipedia’em!
My SAS guy who I lovingly nicknamed Killer (behind his back). We met in Beirut in 2006 during the war. I volunteered to go in during the war, in order to evacuate civilians. He was there Killer-ing, maybe. I can’t really tell you else he’ll parachute into my room and Killer me.
He remains all over the world Killer-ing, but it was a wonderful time spent together (but for the bombs and stuff), and we remain in regular contact.
* Believe that about covers it all. I LOVE that you have taken the time to write such a wonderful and amazing and kind and entirely far too gracious an email /comment. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you for taking the time to read h50sardonic and then — amazingly — to reach out and contact me.
I promise (cross my heart) to check out Oyster Farmer as soon as possible. I too welcome a dancing vadge, courtesy of O’Loughlin (in character, at least, as I fear he may be a very big girlie pansie in real time).
I just made myself laugh. As per uge. ALEX!! CALL ME!!
Many hugs your way, lady,
M
The SAS are British?? From the Queen’s domain of gentile men, the Beatles, Lady Di, Tea & crumpets..that Britain? I’m shocked, amazed & intrigued. Yes, I will investigate. Holy Crap Batgirl! Beirut-bombs-bonking Brits! Sending u much adoration & respect. What a brave, kickass & funny Cheeky Monkey you are. OMG-Listen Up, DO NOT USE..ah(remember Beirut) Please be so kind as to never again connect the term “girlie pansie” to our Alex aka McGorgeous/AlphaCargoPants. Although totally absurd, the mere thought is crush’n my w.t dreams girl. EP6 Recap: Two enthusiastic thumbs up? All hysterical, but esp. King Tut’s drag queen desert romps & Kovika hopping from his “Big Wheel.” Personally, I think he’s “compensating.” Anx. awaiting next recap. Love & Hugs, Grandma-ma
how come we never talk about the kick as* camaro anymore?
Has it made many appearances of late?? I can’t remember — I know McMo + Infant talked about it for a while, recently, but can’t remember beyond that.
Fingers crossed we’ll all get some camaro breasted lights action next week
Maureen! They are Brit indeed…exactly as Lady Di (RIP) and that one son of hers who has no hair.
Beirut was an amazing experience which I would not trade for anything, and though most everyone thought I was a lunatic for going, it was bad ass in the most bad ass of ways.
But wouldn’t it be funny if he did turn out to be a weepy monkey?
xxo m
P.S. Updating your comment to delete your last name xxo
Thank heavens for links that link to even more links, because that is how this Alex-obsessed chick innocently enough found myself here and howling with delight as I read the first few of your wickedly hilarious recaps!
I follow many sites to get my Alex info fix, and have never ever posted anywhere. But now I am compelled to let you know how much I love your bold style & skewed view of this awesome show. Can’t wait to continue reading tomorrow, and most definitely looking forward to future posts.
Thanks for broadening and brightening my reading list!
Cherie — Is this your real name? I wish my name conjured images of a striptease, you lucky girl…
“Compulsion.” I understand that word entirely; so thank you for the wonderful note and enjoy your time on the site. Comment whenever the mood suits, please.
- m
I like you …all of you
Like all of you too, Lainie. Very very much xxo (thanks for the twitter follow at my personal account!)
Hi all; find me at http://h50sardonic.com
Pingback: FAQ | Hawaii 5-0 Sardonic Recaps
Hi Maha and all the other FUCUP ladies. Have been reading you guys and enjoy v v much. Don’t think I’ll comment a lot – not as witty as you all. But will definitly be here looking in on you on a daily basis and catching up on everything! (pun about looking in and the connection with my name totally intended) Think I want to give myself a gold star for comming up with the new version for voyeur, specially for Sardonic. FOYeur in your world should explain itself and hope you find it as funning as I did at 3 in the morning!(still looking for a avatar to go with it) Looking forward to lots of fun with you!
Welcome aboard, FOYeur — your chosen name made me laugh out loud. Uber clever!
Thank you for subscribing and for your lovely email! Please know that it will take me a few to respond as I am working my way through emails and responding to ones still from later December.
I read everything, but just take a very long time to write back
Looking forward to your jumping right in, here!
xxo
Thank You Maha for this wonderful place and for introducing me to all these wonderful ladies
This is the message I got from WP this morning:
Happy Anniversary!
You registered on WordPress.com 1 years ago!
Thanks for flying with us. Keep up the good blogging!
Aww! Happy anniversary, F!
Thanks Steph!
ACA “Refugee Immigrant” a name I’ll wear with pride!
It looks like I’ll have to retract some of my words “Don’t think I’ll comment a lot”. Can’t remember when last I had so much fun?! Thanks from the bottom of my little Refugee heart (that needs a transplant form Dr Andy urgently off cause) to you all for having me.
Hi Sardonic: Read rules & regs and signed on for subscribes…U make me laugh out loud and my kids look at me like I’m insane. As they usually look at me, being that I’m their mom and all.
Enjoy the “don’t be too serious” rule as well so…
Just saw photos from next weeks show. Really hope McGarrett is running after the Ice Cream Truck cause he’s looking way too bony-ass thin these days, as is his chest hair. So glad U mention this often as well, as otherwise I’d just be a disgusting lonely old lady thinking such thoughts. Hoping weight loss doesn’t affect the FOY, for everyone’s sake….Still waiting for him to remove his pants, I remain oxox Mrs. Cleaver
or he might REALLLLLY like mint choco chip ice cream
– don’t mind me, its the cough medicine
Thank you, Mrs Cleaver!
Have fun on here, always + please x
Mama Maha, according to the date on here this is Sardonic’s birthday…..if so Happy Birthday Sardonic!
….And Thank You for accomodating us all.
You are truly a special person with a very big heart….and one of the funniest and Preeeeettiiiiiiiieeeest I’ve seen!!
And to all the other H00kers one here, thank you for your friendship!!
Big HUGSIES…..to y’all
Sardonic is indeed 1 years old. Ok who remembered to put the fake cake in Maha’s car and the the real cake in the fridge???
Happy Anniversary Maha !!
Let the boozing errrrr …. Partying begin !!
Hugsies !
Oh happy happy happy anniversary!! Big group #awkwardchickflickmoment hug with all of the h00kers and Maha in the middle! 🎂🎂🎂
I will buy the mini cupcakes I buy for all my kids parties, because they are made in a peanut free factory and if you buy the vanilla ones, you rule out 2 of the 6 major allergies that plague our children today. Of course, that doesn’t rule out the 2 girls in her pack at are allergic to apples and bananas (seriously!!!?) . Anyway, M, I can honestly say I have been with you since the beginning and have loved every minute. Happy Anniversary, Babe!
Superb tangent, Lainie!
Happy Anniversary M! You are a legend.
A toast to Sardonic’s first year!!
Good thing we have all this booze on the ledge.
Happy Birthday/Anniversary Sardonic! Thank you for allowing us to come here and meet some really awesome women from all over the world.
xxx
Happppeeeeeeeee Birthdayyyyyy Tooooooo Yoooooooou!
Happpppyyyyyyyyyy Birffffdayyyy DEAR SARDONIC!!!!!!
Haaaaappppeeeeeyyy Biiiirthdayyyyyyyyyy Tooooooooo Youuuuuuu!
PARTY TIME! EXCELLENT!
ACA to all of the above.
Happy Birthday Pimp Momma of h50sardonic!
One year yey
I would like to know is that person still here who made the first ever comment to M´s 1st recap!? I think I looked once last fall for the beginning. M started the recaps in the middle or later on SO 1 episodes. What a ride it has been. Thank You M!
The cake’s in the fridge but I forgot to buy the cute little party plates. Oh well, guess we’ll just have to eat our cake straight from McG’s fingers.
Love you all, b!tche$!!!
Good thing it’s buttercream!!
Happy Sardonic Birthday to this site Pimp Momma! May the Foy REMOVEPANTS in celebration!
Happy Birthday Sardonic and y’all !!!
Thank you the preeetteeeist M and all of you wonderful ledge occupiers for the best laughs in the public places
Let’s get the party started!
xoxo
Happy 1st Birthday!!! McG is bringing you a buttercream cake for you to lick of his…..fingers.
ME NEXT!!!
Thank you so much for this place. I have met friends that i hope will be lifelong. I cannot believe how enriched my life has been by this silly show, that handsome man and your your pretteeee, pretteee self.
Mwaaahh!!
HAPPY FIRST BIRTHDAY H50 SARDONIC
http://stephaniejane2.wordpress.com/2012/03/28/happy-birthday-sardoni/
From All of Us. <3 <3 <3
♥ love, real love ♥
Happy Birthday H50 Sardonic! Thank you Mama Maha for all the laughs and this wonderful place to play. Sending love and hugsies your way. GrannyMcMo.