At H50 HQ, Kono has performed some more cross-referencing majic and has whittled down the suspects from 3,759 to 1.
Guess what? I was right — the one suspect is someone whose son was tried by Judge Clyde, and then put away for 18 months for a DUI. Ten days ago, and while in prison, he was killered in the mess hall and…his father never got ‘to say goodbye’. DUN DUN DUN DUUUUUN.
But 18 months for a DUI? “Only in America” would have now been very appropriate.
While visiting the mother of the killered Drunk Driver, we learn that her boy had come over to Hawaii because it was like paradise and I take a pause to quietly sing “Cause you feel like paradise // I need a vacation tonight // So if I said I want your body now // Would you hold it against me.” I <3 Britney. BRITNEY!! CALL ME!!
The Judge needed to make an example of this Haole because he was underage, because it was the third DUI that very week and because he was driving a fancy schmancy cars. Not very nice, Judge. Even McG, who dangles thieves off the tops of buildings thinks this is a little harsh; I can tell because he nodded and frowned and flared the nostril at the ocean.
The momma moved down to Hawaii to appeal the decision; the father could not even see his boy because he is a convicted felon and they are not allowed to visit new felons. Not even through glass. Can they Skype? Probably not. So sad.
McNerd didn’t know this piece of information, because when he hears it, his forehead asks WTF?, and it is followed up by a frantic tweet from his Cargo Pants: Totally stoked. New Fun Fact: Convicted felons get the sh.t end of the stick. True story. Bye twittaverse!
The Appealing Momma tells The 5-0s that her bomber ex was staying at the Kuhio Beach Motel, in Honolulu. McG and Chin bust into the room; no one’s there, but he was just there because the sink’s wet and it looks like he just shaved. Because Father Bomber has a goatie, I guess he shaves his chest like everybody else on this show. Chin speed reads that the Dead DUI Kid blames his public defender for convincing him to take the deal. She too has procreated, ergo, her kid’s the next target. I hope she got to say goodbye.
The silver car with the breasty lights is going 27 km / hour on some street. Danny’s driving and is given direction from McG to haul it to some middle school, where the kid of the the Convincing Public Defender eats his lunch and takes recess.
At the school, there’s a kid looking under a picnic table for gum. When he doesn’t find any, he starts looking for his napsack and is approached by the world’s creepiest creeper creeping around. The Father Bomber hands him the napsack and says he found it by the gym and opinions that the kid should be careful and do his homework.
The kid who will soon be exploded? Clearly his mother, though spending much of her time defending the rights of others, didn’t spend enough time teaching her kid the difference between a normal person and a creepy person. Either that or this is yet another kid who proves that…kids are dumb.
The Convincing Public Defender looks like Faye Dunawaye before she had all of that plastic surgery that made her look not younger, but rather like an old woman who had a lot of plastic surgery.
Kono collects the Meechums, and Danny and McG approach Father Bomber who recognizes that this kid whom he was just about to explode is the same age as his own son when he saw him last. He starts to cry and I am heartbroken for him. Yes, he is a mthrfkr for killing two other children, but I still feel sorry for him. While he’s weeping and being cuffed…I feel sorry for him, and he is no longer the creepiest man in the world.
Sitting on the side of the curb, Danny tells McG that his brother was going to run; that he had booked a flight out the next morning under an alias. McG offers to drive Danny and Wall St to the airport, and upon arriving at Wall St’s hotel room, McG and Danno find a bazillion FBI agents, but no Wall St.
Turns out that Enrique Iglesias is the accountant for the 3rd most powerful drug runner in Colombia. SOFIA VERGARA!! CALL ME, YOU LUNATIC!! Wall Street had agreed to launder $10,000,000, and they were to meet earlier this evening to exchange money for service. But the meet never happened and the FBI lost Wall St.
I am loving that the video / audio of the conversation between Enrique Iglesias and Wall St looks like it was taken by a high quality camera by a professional camera man. Just like the rest of the show. Surely they could have hired someone to wiggle a leaf infront of the camera to at least appear as though it was hiding in a bush?
McG looks like he’s about to sell out Danny, but then he doesn’t. What he has done is send the FBIs on a wild goosechase to the North Shore. Because FBI Agents are really dumb, they all leave even though not one of them bothers to Google map where they’re heading…because not one of them asked for a proper address.
Danny takes off to the airstrip where he knows he’ll find his brother. Whose been waiting for the cameras to roll so that he may start walking toward the airplane with one of those amazing silver briefcases that every single one of my The Gays friends has. THE GAYS!! CALL ME!!
Danny has his gun drawn and is desperately trying to convince Wall St that he will help him, and that going to prison won’t be so bad. But we all know differently. (Please see above note re violent bottom.)
Danny asks at least seven questions, and his eighth statement is hey I’m askin’ you a question! Danny’s pompadour rustles with confusion and looks over to the side like “I don’t get it either.” Danny tries to then invoke the Mother again, and also Grace…but to no avail.
Wall St says you either shoot me or you say goodbye, because either way, I have a wax appointment that I’m not missing for no body.
Wallstreet makes his waxing appointment and holy incredible story arc for Scott Caan. This kid’s getting all of the goods on the show.
(I think) Eddie Vedder is singing to Danny. Danny goes to Rachel, not McG. He tells her that Wall St’s gone and I would love for these two to now have make-up $ex, only she’s a married woman and I don’t much care for cheaters or the people with whom they cheat.
I am instead warmed that The Writers have not gone for the cheap thrills of what’s in my head, and have simply made it about the kindness and gentleness of lovers past, this need in Danny.
We fade to black.