1.18 – Loa Aloha page 4

At H50 HQ, Kono has performed some more cross-referencing majic and has whittled down the suspects from 3,759 to 1.

Guess what? I was right — the one suspect is someone whose son was tried by Judge Clyde, and then put away for 18 months for a DUI. Ten days ago, and while in prison, he was killered in the mess hall and…his father never got ‘to say goodbye’. DUN DUN DUN DUUUUUN.

But 18 months for a DUI? “Only in America” would have now been very appropriate.

While visiting the mother of the killered Drunk Driver, we learn that her boy had come over to Hawaii because it was like paradise and I take a pause to quietly sing “Cause you feel like paradise // I need a vacation tonight // So if I said I want your body now // Would you hold it against me.” I <3 Britney. BRITNEY!! CALL ME!!

The Judge needed to make an example of this Haole because he was underage, because it was the third DUI that very week and because he was driving a fancy schmancy cars. Not very nice, Judge. Even McG, who dangles thieves off the tops of buildings thinks this is a little harsh; I can tell because he nodded and frowned and flared the nostril at the ocean.

The momma moved down to Hawaii to appeal the decision; the father could not even see his boy because he is a convicted felon and they are not allowed to visit new felons. Not even through glass. Can they Skype? Probably not. So sad.

McNerd didn’t know this piece of information, because when he hears it, his forehead asks WTF?, and it is followed up by a frantic tweet from his Cargo Pants: Totally stoked. New Fun Fact: Convicted felons get the sh.t end of the stick. True story. Bye twittaverse!

The Appealing Momma tells The 5-0s that her bomber ex was staying at the Kuhio Beach Motel, in Honolulu. McG and Chin bust into the room; no one’s there, but he was just there because the sink’s wet and it looks like he just shaved. Because Father Bomber has a goatie, I guess he shaves his chest like everybody else on this show. Chin speed reads that the Dead DUI Kid blames his public defender for convincing him to take the deal. She too has procreated, ergo, her kid’s the next target. I hope she got to say goodbye.

The silver car with the breasty lights is going 27 km / hour on some street. Danny’s driving and is given direction from McG to haul it to some middle school, where the kid of the the Convincing Public Defender eats his lunch and takes recess.

At the school, there’s a kid looking under a picnic table for gum. When he doesn’t find any, he starts looking for his napsack and is approached by the world’s creepiest creeper creeping around. The Father Bomber hands him the napsack and says he found it by the gym and opinions that the kid should be careful and do his homework.

The kid who will soon be exploded? Clearly his mother, though spending much of her time defending the rights of others, didn’t spend enough time teaching her kid the difference between a normal person and a creepy person. Either that or this is yet another kid who proves that…kids are dumb.

The Convincing Public Defender looks like Faye Dunawaye before she had all of that plastic surgery that made her look not younger, but rather like an old woman who had a lot of plastic surgery.

Kono collects the Meechums, and Danny and McG approach Father Bomber who recognizes that this kid whom he was just about to explode is the same age as his own son when he saw him last. He starts to cry and I am heartbroken for him. Yes, he is a mthrfkr for killing two other children, but I still feel sorry for him. While he’s weeping and being cuffed…I feel sorry for him, and he is no longer the creepiest man in the world.

Sitting on the side of the curb, Danny tells McG that his brother was going to run; that he had booked a flight out the next morning under an alias. McG offers to drive Danny and Wall St to the airport, and upon arriving at Wall St’s hotel room, McG and Danno find a bazillion FBI agents, but no Wall St.

Turns out that Enrique Iglesias is the accountant for the 3rd most powerful drug runner in Colombia. SOFIA VERGARA!! CALL ME, YOU LUNATIC!! Wall Street had agreed to launder $10,000,000, and they were to meet earlier this evening to exchange money for service. But the meet never happened and the FBI lost Wall St.

I am loving that the video / audio of the conversation between Enrique Iglesias and Wall St looks like it was taken by a high quality camera by a professional camera man. Just like the rest of the show. Surely they could have hired someone to wiggle a leaf infront of the camera to at least appear as though it was hiding in a bush?

McG looks like he’s about to sell out Danny, but then he doesn’t. What he has done is send the FBIs on a wild goosechase to the North Shore. Because FBI Agents are really dumb, they all leave even though not one of them bothers to Google map where they’re heading…because not one of them asked for a proper address.

Danny takes off to the airstrip where he knows he’ll find his brother. Whose been waiting for the cameras to roll so that he may start walking toward the airplane with one of those amazing silver briefcases that every single one of my The Gays friends has. THE GAYS!! CALL ME!!

Danny has his gun drawn and is desperately trying to convince Wall St that he will help him, and that going to prison won’t be so bad. But we all know differently. (Please see above note re violent bottom.)

Danny asks at least seven questions, and his eighth statement is hey I’m askin’ you a question! Danny’s pompadour rustles with confusion and looks over to the side like “I don’t get it either.” Danny tries to then invoke the Mother again, and also Grace…but to no avail.

Wall St says you either shoot me or you say goodbye, because either way, I have a wax appointment that I’m not missing for no body.

Wallstreet makes his waxing appointment and holy incredible story arc for Scott Caan. This kid’s getting all of the goods on the show.

(I think) Eddie Vedder is singing to Danny. Danny goes to Rachel, not McG. He tells her that Wall St’s gone and I would love for these two to now have make-up $ex, only she’s a married woman and I don’t much care for cheaters or the people with whom they cheat.

I am instead warmed that The Writers have not gone for the cheap thrills of what’s in my head, and have simply made it about the kindness and gentleness of lovers past, this need in Danny.

We fade to black.

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62 responses to “1.18 – Loa Aloha page 4

  1. this was the scene where I wanted to tell Rachel to stop messing with Danny’s head and heart and to put him on the first plane back to Newark, where I promised to meet him in Terminal C with a hug and tickets to a Yankees/Red Sox game- because that’s how I roll.

  2. this was the scene where I wanted to tell Rachel to stop messing with Danny’s head and heart and to put him on the first plane back to Newark, where I promised to meet him in Terminal C with a hug and tickets to a Yankees/Red Sox game- because that’s how I roll.

  3. M- Thank you for another hilareous wild ride. Esp. loved the Surf n Turf repartee and the desc. of your x – sounds a lot like your Grandmama’s, minus the explosive trickery. Also, I’m perplexed by this compulsion you have for abnormally fuzzy men? The chest of McGorgeous is perfect as is. It needs nothing else. It has just enough of everything. I’m thinking this fuzzy business lodged itself in your psyche when you were writing incognito..as that adorable little cheeky monkey. Anx. awaiting the next sardonic recap – I hope it’s on the 4/18 EP because I can’t wait to hear your rendition of this train wreck. Sending Love & hugies, Grandmama

    • Sadly, Grandmama — no explosives on the end of my ex, either. But wouldn’t that have been fun?
      I don’t know what it is with me, but I REALLY don’t like too-hairy a man; but find it normal and masculine — especially on a brunette male — that they have just a little more hair on their chest. Jesus, it seems that one day soon this will be considered a “fetish” because so few men have left their hair intact.

      Next recaps’ live, Grandmama! Excited to hear your thoughts :)

      HUGSIES

  4. I almost spat out my iced cappucino when I read your reference to Wall Streets’ prison potential. LOL

    • “Almost”? That’s like 98% rather than 100%.
      Next time, I am aiming for 100% and a drool of iced cap, my friend.

      Violent bottoms demand it.

      xs & os Officer 808 and thanks for reading! :)

  5. McG was v v upset that not all the toy airplanes had motors, because he wanted to go fly planes with Chin. Poor McG is still trying to regain his childhood.

  6. Danno did that thing my Mom used to do when I was in trouble “MATTHEW WILLIAMS”- except it should be “MATTHEW JOSEPH WILLIAMS” because the middle name it when I knew I was really in trouble.
    Matthew is running away like Rachel did in last ep- guess Danno surrounds himself with cowards who run away when the going gets tough. I hate people like that.
    Even now, my heart breaks for Danny as Matt gets in the plane. SCOTT CAAN is a great actor, because I want to jump into TV and hug him.
    UNTIL>…..DUM DUM DUM…. the hug!!!!!!

  7. “I think) Eddie Vedder is singing to Danny. Danny goes to Rachel, not McG. He tells her that Wall St’s gone and I would love for these two to now have make-up $ex, only she’s a married woman and I don’t much care for cheaters or the people with whom they cheat” -hmmmm…I am thinking there was makeup s&x after all…..oh the sorrow :(

    • On original airing I thought it strange that Danno would go to Rachel to ease his sorrows instead of his BFF McG. (poor Stephen). I guess now we know why. Bad Danno.

    • poor poor Lainie … :( … I feel your pain … this was such a good Danno epi and yet you could not really enjoy it this time around as you saw all the foreshadowing … knowing what you know now … I remain confident that Danno will win back your heart …

    • Bad Danno indeed. Should have bought the 2 6 packs of beer and brought them to McG’s house then, not in the finale. Then Lanies world would be A-OK.

      I thought I read somewhere that SC wasn’t particularly thrilled with the whole Matty/airplane end. Something about how he thought it was totally unbelievable. I thought it was great.

      • Yes, he did say that. Indeedy we should reverse airport scenes- instead of Danno watching Matty get on via gate and almost shoot him, it should be Rach Hell. This way, we see Danno LET HER GO! In contrast, Matty should be waiting for Danno to go back New York on a midnight run, only to have Danno stay back and help McG. Now, those are scenarios I could get behind. Really, PETER LENKOV, CALL ME!

      • I totally thought that given the choice, if it were McG, he would have shot him. Wounded only, of course. But the McG never says goodbye. He’s lucky Daniel is his brother.

  8. “The momma moved down to Hawaii to appeal the decision” – I would move to Hawaii for much less. DUN DUN DUN!

    For the record, I didn’t hear a word the Momma said because I was struck deaf & dumb (thankfully not blind) by the sheer beauty that was Chin & McG in this scene. Thank you wardrobe gods. Thank you Momma & Poppa Kim & O’Loughlin.

    “This kid’s getting all of the goods on the show. ” -DUN DUN DUN!

    McG and Danno sitting on the curb – I now want to be a curb. Curb CALL ME!

  9. ever notice how SLOOOWLY McG (and AOL too) lowers himself to … a curb … a chair … he must have to make sure no damage will be done :D … I’ve noticed it in interviews as well as the show …

    • Always protect the FOY.

      • “Always protect the FOY.” – LMOA! Always!

        Cyndi – I have never noticed the slow & ‘safe’ change of positions. I shall now watch for it. It seems a bit over protective considering the incredible ‘cushion’ he has. But he should know..

  10. exhibit A – 1:00 mark: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=24K55ai1gIU&feature=related
    (and side remark, LOVE the jeans)

    exhibit B – 1:10 mark: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jVQZbpprPvs

    exhibit C – 1:43 mark: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T91nBoVcLgM&feature=related
    (notice the boots ;) )

    better stop now … I think you’ll get the picture …

    (p.s. hope these links work … I have no idea until I post this …. DUN DUN DUN DUUUUUN )

  11. hawaiiobsessed

    Now I know where Maha got the shot of Alex she uses at the top! It is from this episode I believe!

  12. Hawaiiobsessed: I was thinking the same thing. It’s really hard to get a bad picture of Alex, he’s so damn photogenic, but I think I saw this shot in the ep too. I remember Maha saying it was really hard finding this unflattering picture of him.
    McG would have certainly shot Brother Crook, most likely in the leg. I know I would have.
    Lainiek: Have you forgiven your boy? It sounds a bit like you have. G

    • No- not forgiven or forgot….but, I have moved on healed…I can remember what we once had fondly now…..although it can never be the same again….Memories, light the corners of my mind…..misty water color memories…of the way we were….. ;(

      • But she would cut Rac Hell in the blink of an eye, given the chance! ;)

        • hmmmm…maybe not cut, but I would def go for a good hunk of that hair and pull pull pull it until she yelled Monkey! and then I would tell her what I thought of her playing games with Danno’s heart like that. sorry, ladies, I know some of you go for that mushy smushy destiny romance, but I feel that real love makes you take the person the way that they are and you don’t keep running when things get tough. she’s just not a loyal person. as you can see this makes me v v angry. true.story. :(

      • As we were so far behind in Oz it wasn’t long after we first met Rachel that I knew what went on with those two so it wasn’t qutie as shocking when it happened on screen. Having said that, Danny did lose points and I was still annoyed he went to Rachels and not McGs. I mean McG did send the FBI in the wrong direction but whatever Danny go visit your married ex-wife….hmm maybe it does bother me more than I thought.

  13. Cyndi, you are so right! That is so funny!! I guess he really does take care of himself well! In every sense of the word. heh!

    Sidenote, I loved everything about his outfit in exhibit A. I frkn LOVE all those interviews…

    • haha … see …. and it was certainly a joy to watch the interviews to provide the proof .. there are a few more out there too …

  14. Kimmer: ‘SLAPFIGHT’ You are just too funny.
    All of you crazies are just too funny with this Ep. I would certainly like to party on with y’all….drinking and drooling over our boys and drinking and dreaming of beautiful Hawaii and drinking. We could even get our wardrobes coordinated! Man, they would be some rip roaring good times for sure. Granny

  15. Why does Danno feel so bad spying on his bro? I used to stand by my older’s sisters’s door eavesdropping all the time. It is part of sibling rules. Must listen and use info later to “get them”.

  16. I noticed that both fancy 4000 dollars a room suite at HHV and 225 a night low level hotel has kitchens in HI. This is so odd to me. When I was in Maui, last thing I wanted to do is stay in my room – let alone cook. We were outside as much as possible, eating Al Fresco. Not to me mistaken for Al Roker or Weird Al.

  17. In ref to the moonlight page & the “sniffing” did anyone notice McG do that while sitting in the truck spying in Wall St?

  18. Damn WordPress is being a Friggin’ Koala tonight. Its almost Un-bear-able

  19. “Danny asks at least seven questions, and his eighth statement is hey I’m askin’ you a question!”

    I kid you not M, every time I watch this ep now when Danny goes, “Hey, I’m asking you a question!” A little voice in my head goes, no, actually, you’re asking 784 questions. ;)

  20. I <3 sardonic!!!!

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