At the University of Hawaii we have another sports-themed-Hawaii-50 beginning. At game point, the greens win and are going to the regionals. Not Coach Eric Taylor (I Love You!) is in green and clearly, he spends 27 hours a day in the gym working on his arms. A photo of the winning team is snapped and we are suddenly staring at Not Coach Eric Taylor’s iPad as he plans game strategies. He is clenching his strong jaw and maybe even his bottom cheeks. Additionally, he is seated in the dark because that’s what creepy people do.
Hearing a noise, he makes his way through the locker rooms and is greeted by a gaggle of girls still wearing their uniforms as they pour the ceremonial Gatorade over his finely chiseled head. None of these b.tches showered or changed.
Soft genteel music is playing and girls are wearing ribbons in their hair (just like a My Little Pony) and Not Coach Eric Taylor tells them he’s really proud of them and please call me when you’re of age and the girls cuddle one another.
Not Coach Eric Taylor is showering, and he is of hairless chest. Why do you keep doing this to me, Show?
As he is Chippendaling it in the shower, he hears a noise, grabs for a towel and goes out thinking it’s his volleyball team again. Only it’s not; it’s a pair of gloved hands carrying a knife, and before blood is spilt, we cut to…
Hawaii 5-0 tuning.
Kamekona is serving shrimp and eyeing a woman with his eyebrows. Let’s here pause and pay homage to the wonderful eyes.xing as performed by McG…and then compare it to this. It’s like his eyebrows are trying to run off his face, and he doesn’t really know what to do with them. God, he is adorable. Failing with the eyebrows, he notices that the woman is in fact eyeing CHIN! CHIN! CHIN!, and it is with him that she wishes to marticulate on the beach.
She is CHIN! CHIN! CHIN!’s date. At a shrimp stand! Awesome.
Kamekona is telling CHIN! CHIN! CHIN! that he hopes he didn’t find her on-line, because there’s lots of crazies out there, and I couldn’t agree more. I was on-line for a while and this world is full of super freaks, my favourite one USED TO SEND ME ALL CAPS MESSAGES BECAUSE NOTHING SAYS ROMANCE LIKE A LITTLE YELLING.
Oh! It’s CHIN! CHIN! CHIN!’s ex-fiance, who will undoubtedly be a.smashed by Kono in a future episode. Apparently, these two have been out on other dates; he pretends he’s Tom Cruise and she Kelly McGillis on the highway to the danger zone.
By the way. Of course CHIN! CHIN! CHIN! is with a non-Caucasian. There is no cross-over in Show. All of them date within their own ethnicity.
CHIN! CHIN! CHIN! tells EX that he’s worried about Kono and her terrible outfits of late. She asks him if he’s shared his feelings with McG and he answers “I mean, of course not. Have you seen what happens when McG stares emotion in the face? If he’s not humping it from the camera down, he’s running away from it to wet his pants off-camera or to a.smash (*sigh*) someone from the Axis of Hawaii 5-0 Evil.”
I believe here that EX is just fishing for information about McG, because she too wants to see him pantsless.
Who doesnt want McG pantsless? SHOW! C’mon gives us a break and DROP McG’s pants already!
Bottomless McG = Bottomless Dreams
Oh yeah, there are a lot of crazies online…. wait, didn’t you meet all of us online? Surely you don’t mean us????
CRAZY LADIES ON THE INTERNET, UNITE!!!!
Crazy United Net Tarts Urging Pantslessness…
LOLOLOLOLOLOLO Trust you to go there!!!!
*WAGGLES MY EYEBROWS WEIRDLY AT YOU*
It’s a good kind of fun, I promise!!!
we are not CRAZY- we are FUCUPS …. a totally different online species
I think the FOY needs to be included in opening credits after all it is a hugh cast member! HAHA pun intended, maybe they could list it as DICK FOY or PETER FOY!
And as I have mentioned before, the tongue needs its own credit, too!
I found it disturbing that Not Coach Eric Taylor was showering in an area where he thought his female players would be. If this is the norm for hot male coaches and womens volleyball, well, I made some poor decisions by being on the college ski team, not v-ball.
It was totally fkd that he came out with a towel. He should have gone home to shower.
Why am I rhyming?
Do towel & shower rhyme in Canada?
why yes they do, because in Canada they end everything with aye. so its:
towel aye
shower aye
ok aye ?
Ameen.
was thinking same thing- if he thought it was his underage players, why would he come out in a towel? creepy creepy bad writing.
Finally some advancement for Chin! I wonder if they will let Chin be happy since obvi it is not in the cards for Danno or McG. Someone needs a decent home life!
Kamekona killed me in this scene. Eyes.xing. shudder.
Anyone besides me not able to get past Malia’s god awful shoes? Ugh! She is very beautiful though.
Between her shoes, which were very large, and her dress, which was very small, she kind of didn’t look like a real person to me, more like a teeny tiny barbie doll, which, considering she was standing next to Kono (who yes, give that girl a sandwich) is saying something.
I couldn’t even recognizer her. Her and her overly mooney-eyes.
She was very twee. I preferred her grownup doctor look to the mini dress and uber heels.
She did look like she was channelling her inner call girl dressed like that. Perhaps Kamekona has branched out again into escort services?
maybe Kono and Malia need wedges…I saw many of them in shoe shops today, which makes me think they are “in” at the moment.
I love wedges! They are ace! (They make me look tall, clever wedges) Kono would rock in wedges, She has been wearing those fugly boots recently, & as we know shoes can make or break an outfit. Recently I’ve seen a lot of wedge booties. Have reserved judgment on whether those can be a welcome addition to my wardrobe!
I am thinking of getting wedge booties for work….oh wow I’m having an entire conversation about shoes. Look mum and dad, I’m a real girl!
I was stuck on her hair.
Things might live in there.
See. Still rhyming.
Malia is beautious indeed and looked much better at the shrimp truck than in the hospital whites. If I were her, I would open a private practice and never put on a doctor’s coat again!
Kamekona. BigK ? Eyebrows.xing ? Sweet.
CHIN CHIN CHIN did not share info with McG because he is afraid of anuerism face. Kami needs a woman BAD. Poor thing spent time on line and told ladies he was 6’2 with black hair and blue eyes who liked to take his shirt off. This would explain why the ladies went crazy and his impression of the ladies.
Also, now that Kami has a shrimp truck, does no one have shaved ice anymore? I so want shaved ice! SHAVED ICE MAN, CALL ME!
Shrimp-flavored shave ice — best on the island, brah.
“I believe here that EX is just fishing for information about McG, because she too wants to see him pantsless.”
I totally thought she sounded like she was into McG here. But I also totally think the writers didn’t mean it that way. Sorry, have apparently turned into a valley girl.
The writers probably didn’t write it that way but she probably meant it that way and we feel he same because we want him pantsless. Lol. Totally.
Coach Eric Taylor, call M. Tim Riggins, CALL ME! I miss you Friday Night Lights.
Also, I feel the need, the need for speed….If there is anything I can quote better than H50 it’s Top Gun. Dear @plenkov, maybe you should have Smooth Dog call up his navy friends and play volleyball much like Iceman, Maverick and Goose….recall that they were shirtless.
Also, maybe Smooth Dog can melodramatically throw Nick Taylors dog tags off the side of the Enterprise.
Cheerio.
I was so hot for Ice Man.
I nearly said that myself, but w0as worried I’d be queried on how I went from Tim Riggins to Ice Man.
Tim Riggins, though a child, is still a beast in my books.
M, I know your age and I know Taylor Kitsch’s age, thus according to that formula I published in another thread, he isn’t jailbait for you.
I think he’s 30 or 31, right?
He be 30.
He be a perfect age.
‘He be 30′
Why have you both started to talk like pirates? It’s not international talk like a pirate day, because that was last month. So why???
Avast Me Hearties!
You knew it was international talk like a pirate day last month? We did it at work because my work is made up of weird and wonderful people.
And I don’t know, I can make it Yoda speak for you. 30, he is.
I knew because I’m half pirate (on my mothers side), I talk like a pirate unintentionally because it just how I roll!
I love the Yoda-ness. Maybe we could make the H50 cast star wars, just like we did with the F1
“Maybe we could make the H50 cast star wars, just like we did with the F1.”
Oh can we Jayne!? Can we!? Shall we sidebar it here or email? As for our F1 ones, I remember Numpty was Jar Jar and Shumi was Darth Vader.
Hopefully your half Jack Sparrow pirate….
I can have entire conversations with people, using only quotes from TopGun.
One day Kimmer, we need to McNerd over Top Gun.
You can be my wingman anytime, Grace.
Bull$hit, you can be mine.
Heyyyy does that make me Tom Cruise???
How appropriate given his height.
I sincerely dislike Tom Cruise-even if he is a Jersey boy. Like sincerely dislike him big time. Nicole Kidman soooooo traded up with Keith Urban!
I did have a wee bit of a crush on Anthony Edwards back then.
When he left Nicole he was public enemy number 1 in Oz.
I wouldn’t mind stepping into the danger zone with the FUCUP’s !
😜.
Pray tell, lovely ladies – I have to ask, what on EARTH is going on with the wardrobe on this show? Malia – hair, miles better as last time was straightened within an inch of its life and looked horrible, now soft and curly, great. She’s v pretty. But that dress? Was it a dress? If she’s going pantsless to encourage others to do so (ahem!) I say yay but really, teeny shorts, high heel shoe boots – how old is she supposed to be? For grown up sexy doctor ladies surely there’s something better. And poor lovely Lauren German, since slinking in in fab heels and orange blouse, has been given sack t-shirts to wear like she’s 15. If I went to work dressed like her in that white striped number, I’d send me home. Next they’ll be dressing her in sack cloth and shouting ‘nope, nothing to look at here nutty lady fans (not us, we’re like, normal) McG’s not going to look at her!’ As an aside, in addition to outstanding thigh holsters (I’m still not over those) – CHIN CHIN looked magic this episode. Love clearly agrees with him
All of them date within their own ethnicity.
Not exactly as Kono made out with that terrible Ben Bass last season and unless he’s so terrible he doesn’t count as even HUMAN (therefore Kono wins for dating out side the species) he at least was a Caucasian “local.”
I thought precisely about him while I was typing that, actually! But ultimately, they neither dated nor had the s.x, so I’m stickin’ to this truth as a Truth until one of these 5-0s s.xes someone OUTSIDE of their ethnicity.
Ahem. I am not Caucasian. McG could have the s.x with me and then the above shall no longer be a Truism.
Fair enough. It was a random makeout interrupted by violence. Ben Bass is a thing of the past! Maybe this season Kono can get some s.xing?
And maybe McG & you can bust up some Trusisms too?
I would guess he’s good at busting stuff up.
O ya! He can do as much busting up and down and all around as he likes.
NO! SEGREGATION!
I know this is off subject but I see your web site will soon be over the 100,000 hits mark! CONGRATS TO YOU!
Hi WJ! Thank you.
That has nothing to do with me –> but rather the amazing #FUCUPs and all lurking stalkers who live here
You had a vision that turned into something special and I know H500,000 is just around the corner. Huggies to you and all the #FUCUPs
Awwwww HUGSIES!
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test…M feel free to delete me later…my post…not me
No, you’re all good! I approved’em all so now you should have no problems
further testing….because I think I just figured it out.
Ok last time I’m trying before I admit defeat and get Ess to help me. Technology is not my friend.
100,000 hits in late October… 240,000 hits 4 and a half months later…. pretty dang impressive Maha.