At the Neil S Blaisdell Center Arena in Honolulu, McPanty Destroyer has just come from a fresh chest waxing, and is wearing a deeper than normal shade of rose lipstick. He is also breaking in his wraps, and appears to be covered in vaseline. We can not see The FOY.
A little bit of a loser, he is sitting all alone in a locker area, facing no one in particular but for LoHo who, clearly, thinks she’s Lara Croft with her toughness. But, uhm, no.
She tells him that it’s bad luck to tape his own hands — a fact she waited to share until he had completely finished wrapping his own hands. Also, she gives him advice that he should wrap’em a little thicker around the knuckles, because…obvi, McPanty Destroyer.
But then she starts taping little pieces of tape to the top of his little hands. You know what you really and truly need to do to protect your knuckles? You wrap electrical tape around your skin, beneath the wrap itself, and then you thread the wrap itself between each finger (and down around the thumb), and then…then you wrap over the wrap, all around your hand, more tape.
You’re welcome.
*blink*blink*
Omg. THIS IS SO FKN LAME.
They’re flirting. She calls him hot. She swallows. Bats her eyelashes. McG opens and closes his mouth (bitch, are you gonna act, or fight?!), and confirms that she called him hot.
Panties are getting up, telling their screens to f.ck themselves and leaving. They are making placards and will fly to Hawaii to picket Atplenkov. Honestly? I might join them, because what? We can’t let LoHo be a woman without her needing to get her flirt on with McG? She needs to want to fk her boss in order to what?
What is the point of this storyline, Show? Unless she is going to tackle him and remove. His. Pants. And then declare TA DAAAAAA! I do not understand the point of this, or of her character just yet. And I want to, hard.
While these two are the only ones in the locker room, Daniel is outside Facebook stalking Doctor, and his Pompodour is limp because his BFFITWWW doesn’t need him. Thanks God that Don King is outside with him, fist bumping his pain and sorrow.
O, look! My panties just came running back to me; they have jumped in my lap and are saucer-eyed staring at my screen as McG’s hairless chest is walked forward by The FOY, out into the crowd.
For all intents and purposes, Alex O’Loughin has not eaten a carb in 39 days. I’m trying to sit on my laptop again. I might break it. Because holy F!CK ME HIS BACK.
If I were an extra on this show, I would have propelled myself at his body and then slid right off because he is so vaseline-d, and then laid on the floor weeping at the beauty of his back, until the secrity people threw me out of Hawaii.
Daniel is with us, and the t-shirt worn by LoHo, he too is wearing. It is representative of The FOY (because it has three objects on it). TEAM THE FOY!!
Some fat dude’s in the cage. Eww.
McG calls for a mouth guard, and my left t!t raises her hand to volunteer.
Betchu Alex O’Loughlin is really excited about this, because it really is showcasing his SUPERIOR ACTING SKILLS. He takes a punch to the face and actually looks surprised and a little offended, which is hilarious and makes me laugh out loud.
My right b00b has now also raised her hand.
The best part of this scene?
The Fat Dude punches Alex on the left side of the face, and Alex falls over to the left. Side. Of. Himself.
48 hours earlier, a man is shot through the heart because he’s to blame; he gave love a bad name. So bad, that he was tied to a chair and dumped into a pool.
Hawaii 5-0 sings and I can tell this is going to be an awesome recap, because my b00bies are now waving at one another.
We’ll collectively be assembling 50,000+ words (at least) gushing over how much hotness was contained in this episode, but it will all be a variation on the theme of: holy F!CK ME HIS BACK.
On the other hand, it’s a sin against FOOD and QUALITY OF LIFE that AOL hasn’t eaten a carb in the past billion years, I just want to, I don’t know, take a loaf of bread or a baked potato and just go to town on the guy.
I just liked how Danno looked in a white tee. I can no longer find shirtless McG attractive since I am only now looking for orange blotches and missing gecko. Danno, however, can throw a towel at me, on me or off me for that matter.
What about mouth guard insertion?
Such a good set up. You’re welcome.
But you’re so right, tight t-shirts + Danny’s shoulders = sweet & sexy eye candy
true that- Danno can put anything of his in my mouth he would like
AND SHE KNOCKS IT OUT OF THE PARK!!! <3 U Lainie!
I cannot believe that I have spent this long oogling his front. HIS BACK – Holy hell. All of the fun McTidbits might be on the front, but HIS BACK!
My panties stopped giggling and let out a collective. “OOoooooohhhhh”
And, how is it that I have lived on this earth for 43 years and NEVAH seen back muscles like that? How.the.fck.does.that.happen? The power of AOL.
It’s ridonkulous is what it is.
As I told someone earlier today,
I want to punch him in his charisma.
Are Harems legal in Hawaii?
I want to punch him in his perfection.
Then punch Not McG for not being McG.
LOL!!!!
The man has given me a back kink now.
Thank you Alex O’loughlin. Like I needed something else to obsess about. This will be new theme for tumblr. b.tch
LIFE RUINER is what he is.
Alex is lucky he isn’t Italian because we would have kicked him and his non carb, no oil eating a$$ off the table AGES ago…
According to him he eats carbs but normally not the refined kind. Healthy carbs. I now want to be a healthy carb..
what on earth is a refined carb? I feel if AOL knew of my eating habits he would join M, sobbing in horror over in the corner.
I bet he doesn’t eat as good as he says he does. Not ALL THE TIME.
As a diabetic I can McNerd on carbs. Refined carbs are processed. Table sugar, white rice, white bread, pastries, etc. Good/complex carbs are brown rice, whole grain pastas & breads, etc. They break down slower in the body, reduce insulin spike and stick to your “middle” less. McNerd over…
Alex is def crying his eyes out now. Me and refined carbs are best friends.
Although, I am now a person who cooks without oil, much to my parents horror.
I should follow this up with, one of my managers has a nutritionist and I steal tips from her. Want to know what else nutritionist claims? You can have a bite size chocolate everday as long as it’s before 1pm and it doesn’t count. Sweet.
It doesnt ‘count’ for what? calories? Sugar intake? WTF? ONE bite size of pretty much anything isn’t going to hurt you regardless of the time of day.
And if you eat it standing up, it has negative calories. *nods*
Also eating it with a diet coke balances it out to zero.
In my circle of friends if we’re out to dinner and your order a salad we yell out “negative calories.”…… I can not think of the last time a friend ordered a salad.
Obvi, eating food off someone’s else’s plate doesn’t count either
Ess, I was just happy for the free pass on my oreo eating.
Me & you Gracie with our love of refined carbs & hatred of Veggies.
I always thought if you were refined it was a good thing, y’know like those people who sit in the posh seats at the Opera , aren’t they refined???
lol I am glad I have you as my ally Jayne. Or else I’ll just be the weirdo in the corner who doesn’t like fruit.
Mama: What a surprise. You just couldn’t wait to recap this one could you? I’m ROFL about your stradling your labtop and your boobs waving and so many other tidbits, but I had to stop and quickly comment because this is the first fking time ever I AM FIRST!! Oh, and I’m with ya…Lara Croft PeepToe is not and I’m pretty sure McSuperSeal knows how to wrap his own hand. Lame scene. And I don’t think he’s had a carb in about a year..this man is bringing lean to a whole new level. LOL McMo I’m first, I’m first. YEAH!!
McMo: Just had to say the channel I watch H50 on had a McDonalds commercial and just what they were advertising: You got it girlfriend a McMuffin commercial and a new one at that. Can’t wait until Friday! Gotts to go and finish reading. Hugsies
I second (and third and fourth…) the “holy F!CK ME HIS BACK”.
Must find a screen cap…
Go to ESS’ tumblr: h50bamf.tumblr.com they are a-plenty.
Whoo hoo! New desktop picture!
And there will be more. Just trying to space them out.
and… I am now following your tumblr
Excellent Life Choice, Morag!
THANKS!!! *hugsie*
STEPHANIE: Damn It Steph!! You beat me by minutes. Damn! Ditto…he needs several Puka Dogs immediately. McMo
McMo: Needed more ice, mine melted in the first 5 minutes and I couldn’t see for the steam!
Ha ha I am the sardonic stalker!
But Oh my…. feeding him a Puka Dog….. djaflkjdskldfjaljfdl;sajkfdf…. where do I sign up?!?!?!
I burst out laughing multiple times and I’m only on the first page. Yeah, BonJovi reference!
WJ: You go girl…christen that McDonald’s good. Yep, I was going through bags of ice like crazy too & several towels. McMo
MAHA: I’m kinda scared that you know so much about defensive hand wrappings. What’s up with this??? McMo
McMo: All fun and games, just read on twitter someone made a threat against PLenkov, thats just wrong,
twitter has been a koala the past 2 days- I think everyone is on a collective period. I realized that the last time I was part of a fan base like this it was for Entourage and they were mostly men. this is a v v diff experience. nonsardonically, very thankful for my FUCUP crew and the fun lighthearted spirit on here.
Lainiek: What a wonderful way to sum up the twitter world recently. I couldn’t find the words to express the way I felt.
YeeeEAHhhhhH!!!!
Wtf! A threat against plenkov?
A twitter threat??
He tweeted this afternoon:
Uhm. Wow.
Yes, It was all over my twitter. Checked his twitter earlier and it really was sad and I think he sounded a little hurt. The BITCH yes, I said becase the name sounded female must be stupid if she thinks they can’t trace twitter mail. If cops can’t sounds like a job for 50.
I know who said this now and knowing this person, I think Peter over dramatized it. Great way to get the fandom stirred up there. I trust this person was not threatening like he made it seem.
When I box, McMo, I have torn my knuckles. So to keep going, I undo my wraps, bandaid and then electric tape my hands and re-wrap.
Else I must stop training, and I won’t do that.
OMG you box?! The perfect match for AOL/McG! Step to the front of the line with my blessing! Uh-oh-just had a flashback to last night where LoHo was taping his hands and talking about her (I think) jiu-jitsu expertise. You could totes take her in a minute. Please!!and thank you for putting us all out of our misery!
OH YES!! M, please take out twig LoHo and then as.mash the McG!! This I will pay to see!!
Yes. I will gladly punch McG in his Australian.
First you must punch LoHo in her awful hair. Please.
Huurrah!!
Yes to his chest, his back, his face and the FOY !
‘Daniel is outside Facebook stalking Doctor’.
Heh, heh, funny, I mean really, who would stalk others out- ummmmm . . . . . , huh. . . . . . . Wait ……
Bahahahahahahahahahaha
Don’t throw things at me, but I kinda hope McG bangs LoHo, that way he would send her back to gov. because he wouldn’t bang someone who works for him.
I see it now – the ep where McG and LoHo have to decide between work and lust- they sleep together and she comes to tell him she has been reassigned back to DC and he once again alone for M to come and get him.
McG would tell her “my FOY will break your scrawny @ss in half” and she will leave crying, having been denied. I pray for that day.
Me too ess, me too!
I ran out of bibs in the first 4 minutes. Took quite a while to get to the fight scene because I kept replaying the WALK. I was actually laughing at myself over my reaction!
Karin: You and every normal woman watching last night. Rewatched this afternoon and it had the same effect. I was giggling and tingling too!
I’m converting my co-workers to H50 by sending out pics from last night’s episodes in random emails. It’s totally working. I am always very clear that I WATCH FOR THE PLOT. Because, of course I do.
Which pic?
This one: http://h50bamf.tumblr.com/post/11911802639/comin-goin
I think i spent 10 minutes perving over that picture..AGAIN.
I’ve lost so much time it isn’t even funny.
yeah yeah – whatevas – can McG please move his arm? I see Danno behind him… *waving* – hey Danno hey hey
His cute little nose poking out through McG’s armpit. Priceless!
Wow! I don’t think that my brain registered what my eyes were seeing last night. Now after carefully studying/perving over the picture, I am enraptured with how The FOY was magnificently straining against the fabric. #RemoveHisPantsAlready #FreeTheFOY #FreeTheGecko #FreeTheTrampStamp
#FREETHEFOY
I LOVE IT!!
The FOY was front and center. No doubt about it.
You and me both, Cherry. I was surprised by own reaction to HIS BACK!!!!!!!!!!
Who knew a back could be that sexy! He truly is a walking, talking work of art.
Oh, I am sooo glad it is not just me. Because I was concerned about this new obsession I have with his back.
Well, gives us more surface area to attach to #danglingFUCUP’s
That man has it coming and going!
Hate to see him leave but love to watch him go for sure!
He’ll be back next Monday and it will start all over again. McG withdrawal (and not in a good way)
Word.
I had to replace the batteries in the remote just watching the walk over and over. First we have the FOY straining and then the flippin’ back of awsomeness just being awesome.
And they did an amazing job with the make-up, covering up his huge tribal tattoo that he covered his tramp stamp with.
WJ: IT WASN’T ME! I KNOW NOTHING! NOT ME! I don’t even TwiddertTwat. WASN’T ME! I SWEAR. McMo
McMo: I know it wasn’t you or any of the FUCUPS! On a brighter note I felt like the wictch in Wizard of Oz, Last night I was melting!
Lannie: We are v v grateful for you too. Also, I must say I was a wee bit in love with your Danno last night. He was all sorts of adorable. But I’m backing off girl….no worries. McMo
atplenkov and crew once again reminded me of why I heart this boy so
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I loved that Danno “blessed” McG right before he went into the ring. Made me smile (as soon as I could get my mouth working again after the jaw dropping WALK)!
The subtle things cracked me up this epi.
Yes, yes. The Lori/McG flirting scene. WHY TF are they doing this? IT’s so wrong!!! They are SHOVING this down our throats. But according to Peter, he it’s not happening so he doesn’t know why people get upset. I’m beginning to think he’s a big fat liar and I want to fly to LA and kick him in his junk. (props to whoever used that line last week)
Or are they just going to make McGarrett a big flirt this year and try to make up time for last year that he didn’t flirt. Not one time. If they turn him into a man-ho, I’m so flying to LA and Peter better buy a good cup.
I mean that in a totes non-threatening way. LOL!
And atplenkov also tweeted that Cath will be coming back at some point…
I was the junk kicker. I do think plenkov is a lying liar who lies (sometimes). However, I also know how these koalas work sometimes and our only solace if they continue this “love” angle is that if McG & LoHo do the nasty, Woaaah Fat will kill her over sweeps week so we can watch AOL do his best to garner Emmy buzz.
You just earned your nickname: Junk Kicker.
You have been anointed.
Ok, why do I keep reading it as “junk licker” instead of “junk kicker”? Must have something to do with the FOY, no?
LOL.
Welcome to my world, Sari.
Wait. Is “junk licker” available???? I would volunteer.
A pleasure to be in such esteemed company. Take a number. I’m sure the list is lengthy-like the FOY!
“junk licker” – OMG it took me 12 times to type that because I’m laughing so hard!!
Heh heh excellent. Bringing the beatdown to anyone who crosses the FUCUPS or threatens the FOY.
Word.
LOL!!
Listen. I don’t know when these were filmed, but I can’t help but wonder if they shot them *before* the sh.tstorm over a potential romance. And seeing the sh.tstorm, CBS cut it off at the knees.
I don’t mind a romance between LoHo and McG; I just don’t understand Why Is LoHo?
“Why Is LoHo?” – *dying*
LoHo is Kono redundant – when will LoHo report to Gov because surely he will not be v v happy with her babysitting skills.
This episode was filmed at the same time as SOTB – the first week of Sept. Before LoHo was
shoved down our throats in that horrible eye s.xing scene at the NotDeadGov’s officeintroducedTo LoHo or Not to LoHo, that is the question.
The answer is: Not to LoHo!
Listen. I watched Greys Anatomy. I have no problem seeing people play hide-the-pickle with their boss. This IS NOT THAT SHOW.
CHEST BUMP!!!
You just think you have a better hiding place!
Hugsies!
“I don’t mind a romance between LoHo and McG” – you are dead to me.
*hugsie*
Heh!!
*hugsies*hard*and*awkwardly*too*long* xxoxxo
I’m not sure what is happening, but all of the words after “CBS cut it off at the knees. I don’t mind a..” are blurry to me. That’s odd. Huh.
As much as I want.need.crave McG #pantslessness, I don’t think I can stomach said #pantslessness and #HideTheFOY s.xing activities to be with LoHo.
Am I the only one who felt McG was reaching when he took her comment about his possible nose realignment for a compliment? It was cute and flirty but I took her to mean “are you sure this is a good idea?”. Her comment would have had the same meaning if she said it to an ordinary looking mortal. McG turned it into “oh, you think it’s going to ruin my looks?”.
Even though we project onto him the ” I am a handsome devil” persona, I’ve never felt the character was conceited and his comment surprised me.
I honestly think McG is clueless and was asking a literal question. No she was not complimenting you, dumbass, she was trying to do right by Danny and talk you the f.ck out of the fight! LOL.
No, you are not the only one. How McG could see that as a compliment, I don’t know. She didn’t even say you won’t look so hot, she said it won’t look so hot.
And how anyone could even get near that nose with the FOY out front and center?
Ok, now on to the good… HOLY FKN HELL!! This man’s body is the Garden of Eden and I’m ready to eat the fruit from the sacred tree!!
Boo for the hairless chest! But YAY for the FOY walking!! It was magic. Pure magic.
Yes, ESS. Eat the fruit. **snort**
“Boo for the hairless chest!”
ALL CAPS AGEEEING.
#JustSayNoManscaping
#StopChestDeforestation
Bananas are my favorite fruit. Nothing like a big, fat FOY banana.
I’m pretty sure those dancing pecs had their own director in the opening scene! Second Unit Pecs Director. Guessing they have many technical experts lining up for that job, daily. I myself am qualified, for example. Also, Director of Sexy ManBack, Walking Away From Me. I’m certain of my skills there!
I would like to volunteer to be in charge of: McLegs, McArms or McAbs, if positions open, which I assume they often do, since dying of lust-related symptoms is a common job hazard.
I am *supposed* be watching a TV show with NotMcG right now, but am in fact reading my beloved sardonic. I would have gotten away with it, because I am a sneaky b.tch if it were not for:
“and my left t!t raises her hand to volunteer ”
To which I laughed outloud. I tried to make it seem as if I was laughing at something on TV, but it was just a teaser for the weather. Ooops.
Are you sitting with a blanket over your mouth?!
No. Dumb b.tch that I am. I would be less obvi if I had a big sign on saying “OOGLING SOMEONE WHO ISN’T YOU”
Dude! The blanket over the mouth thing totes works!! trust.
How does that work when I LAUGHED OUT LOUD? Claim that the blanket did it?
#gigglingblanket
You have to stuff a bit in the mouth.
The BLANKET!
:p
Kimmer, whilst I did manage just about to keep Not McG from being suspicious over what I’m doing on the computer, I was once again reduced to making sounds a bit similar to a foghorn whilst reading your comments about reading. Not McG is now eyeing me suspiciously as I type. Eeek
Y’all are killing me! Seriously, u have tears streaming down my face! Mahalo & sending love & hugsies!!
We are so in the same boat! I’m laughing like crazy, and NotMcG is looking at me like I have two heads.
My Not Danno and children walk around going “Scott Caan this” and “Scott Caan that” and “Mommy and Scott Caan sitting in a tree – k i s s i n g” …..nice kids
And your family is different from my family in what way? LOL!! The teasing about my McG crush is endless-that’s ok-totally worth it!
If it’s any consolation: I re-read it and was crying, while laughing so hard.
While reading and laughing and lying my a.s off about why I’m laughing, I thought – this was a great sardonic episode.
One of the best recaps this season, M. Kudos!
Thank you, my love!
Agree! The mouth guard comment, especially. I laughed out loud and then had to hide what I was reading from my kids. Heh.
KAREN: I loved the way Danno “blessed” McG before he entered the cage too. Classic. Danno was back in perfect form and it was great. McMo
I have a feeling that was another Scott Caan ad lib.
They are so leading for romance here! I didn´t buy LoHo´s presence in the locker room, and that “flirting” was lame, but since there was no real reason for her to be there, it must have been to create some chemistry… She doesn´t act tough enough for this role. Let her be a regular woman, who´s allowed to smile and giggle occasionally.
Just watched this epis once, but seems like Kono is still absent. And missed a scene where she and LoHo could have bonded a bit, there was no connection with these two caracters…odd.
MAHA: “Boxing” See, this is why you are scary. You def. need to replace LoHo..right after kicking her butt..I mean hair.
McMo
Firstly, I love the use of AC/DC this season. I used to see Angus Young rocking out with his guitar when I would hear Thunderstruck (the song they played tonight for people who have moved on from these aging rockers). Now I will think of AOL…it may be wise to refrain from listening to AC/DC while driving.
Secondly. I watch h50 with my mum (Hi Mummy, I am totes talking about you) and at the beginning she said, “why does he spend all that time in the gym and then go off and get tattoos? It’s wrong.”
To which I said, “mum can you go get my birth certificate. I think I am adopted.”
I think your ‘mum’ is really Sheila’s biological mother.
LMOA! You were totes adopted! What I wouldn’t give to have seen the look on your face. Lol! You and Sheila should switch rooms.
I will never move on from AC/DC. True.story.
MOTHERS… what can you do?
Oh infant, how I miss you !!
Agreeing with Ess, would have loved to see your mumwtfface !
LB, I’m always lurking, a week behind, but I’m here. Come back and visit and it’ll be like I never left.
As for my face, it was a lot more genuine then my OMG sooooo didn’t see that coming (yes I did because I’ve already seen this ep) face.
Ess, I refuse to move on from AC/DC. I saw them in concert last year. They still got it.
We can’t let LoHo be a woman without her needing to get her flirt on with McG? She needs to want to fk her boss in order to what?
True five months ago. True today. True for any woman, any man, any employee, any boss, any situation. #justsayin