Ooooh, it’s like watching The Blair Witch Project. I like this episode already.
A man cast in green light says that he’s in search of probably not the Coo Waat? Paw Eeee Quo, Ghost Warriors who roam the Islands. This guy is scrawny, and when his “babe” hears something out there and wants to go home, he tells her that he’ll protect her. I laugh, and she sarcastically snarks “Wow, I feel super safe now.” Heh. Honey, if you can’t believe that your man has the capacity to protect you, why in the fk are you letting him s.x you?
They hear another noise, the guy says “it’s probably a bird,” and again, I am laughing for all of the right reasons by which the Writer wishes for me to laugh.
CLEVER WRITER!! CALL ME!!
These two make their way to a location deemed to be Sacred Ground, an ancient temple and sacred graveyard, where the Night Marchers have been seen to roam sadly in search of a really good pizza and some cold beer.
Locals consider trespassing taboo, but this dumb Haole and his girlfriend don’t give enough of a sh/t to respect local traditions, because making a video for youtube is totes worth disrespecting ancient traditions. White people, you are so quirky!! CALL ME!!
The girlfriend finds something on the ground, is told not to touch it, begins screaming, and the bloke takes a smashing to the back of the head. The video keeps rolling.
Hawaii 5-0 makes me wiggle in my seat.
Awwww yeah. GHOSTBUSTERS SONG!
OMG. Monkey? Am I going to see Monkey? After six episodes of NO MONKEY? I am going on strike if I do not see Monkey.
MONKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my God, she is just the sweetest thing to see. I swear to God, I love this little girl. My reaction to her lighting up my screen is kind of a little creepy.
With Daniel, MONKEY knocks on some man’s door, and are they at a motel? Or is this the compound in which Daniel lives?
No matter, because Monkey is dressed in material which is 2 inches short of making her a little hijabi girl. Seriously, Daniel, convert to Islam and stick a scarf on her head. It’ll satiate the crazy in you.
This entire scene is just brilliant. Daniel basically coerces this gross dude into giving Monkey “something”, anything.
Oh sh/t, I am dying, because Writer made the gross dude give Monkey a whole bunch of alcohol and Daniel nearly comes out of his well fitting and nicely worn blue button down to punch this guy in his stupid.
Luckily, his mobile rings and the plot moves forward. Daniel must return Monkey to her rightful owner, where Monkey will be allowed to dress like a little Princess and show off her arms.
As Monkey runs away in utter glee, Daniel monologues that he can tell she’s really sad to be leaving him. Heh. Pauvre Daniel.