In downtown Honolulu, we are watching Fast Six, the follow-up to Vin Diez-uh-l’s comedic genius Fast Five, only without Vin which — basically — is the exact same thing.
Sidebar: Have any of you seen Fast Five? Because he is HORRIBLE, y’all. Like, so bad, it might even kill The FOY and it’s perpetual b0ner. Better yet is that there’s a part where he’s all something like “your mistake is thinking that we’re in Umerikuh. WE’RE IN BWAZEEL!” B.tch thinks he’s some journo pronouncing Brazil like a local, only a retarded one. NO! H8! I LOVE YOU BWAZEEL!! CALL ME!!
Back to Show. The awesome Dukes of Hazard car hauls it to the shipyard and someone narrating says they need containment around the perimeter. Then somehow, all of the Useless Coppers must start running around on foot, crackin’ open more pods borrowed from The Wire.
Oh, it’s “How’s it” DUKE!! HI DUKE!!
Each pod opens up to a gorgeous car and all men audience members squirted themselves silly and fell asleep in under 3 minutes. No cuddles.
A leaky mummy is found dead in the trunk of one of the cars. Audience to deduce it is Mubarak. DEDUCED!!
(Solidarity with #Jan25, yo!)
Hawaii sings, and I should let you know that I am cranky and generally annoyed today.
At McG Shangri La, omh oh oh hi.
Hi Steven, finally sleeping NOT in a burka.
He takes the pillow and covers The FOY because there is a FUCUP lurking in the corner weeping and sucking her thumb.
F-ck you, Steven, already. TAKE OFF YOUR PANTS, MATE.
Anyhoo. He is awakened by the sound of the telly. Naturally, because Show is a wee bit formulaic, Daniel must now be bunking at his. McG puts on a shirt, because he hates us, and makes his way down to turn off said telly.
Daniel is beneath the covers, the only human being in the world not to love the sound of the ocean. Was Daniel born in a cabbage? Ocean is so soothing. OCEAN!! CALL ME!!
Sidebar: I often mistake the sound of traffic for Ocean. I kid you not; next time you hear far away traffic, tell yourself that it’s Ocean and you’ll hear what I mean. This is the same power by which I have convinced myself that as soon as Alex O’Loughlin tramples onto Sardonic, he shall want to annihilate my girl bit and plant his seed. Honest.
McG and Daniel have a lover’s quarrel that I don’t give a sh/t about because Alex O’Loughlin just sat back, plucked his legs up and splayed. Next time I have trouble sleeping, I will count FUCUPs jumping through his thighs, to land on The FOY.
Here are some of Steven’s 1,472 rules:
- No telly after midnight, unless it’s p0rn.
- No shower longer than three minutes. Because what in the fk?
- Nair your chest hair.
- Fk a woman until she can’t catch her breath.
- Never colour co-ordinate.
- No SPAM.
Hey McG, I only have one rule at my place: To enter, you must remove your pants.
A phone call to move the plot forward. I guess this is Show’s only option. Until it creates, like Batman, a cut out of The FOY which it shines into the night sky to attract McG and The 5-0s.
That chest! That chest! That chest! Beautiful!! I want to play something on those ribs! He hates us? Is that why he had to put a shirt on to go talk to Danno? I loved the way Steve touched the overhead beam as he came down the stairs.
Wierd wonderings? Is there only one bedroom in that house? Isn’t there a better place for Danno to sleep than the couch? Why did the phone call come in what appeared to be the middle of the night but it was broad daylight when they got to the crime scene? Maybe they took so long because they were helping each other pick out their outfits!
I am stealing this answer from someone else I read it from, but the answer to the bedroom issue is probably that there is no TV in the guest room so if Danny needed the TV to sleep,he would hit the couch. Obvi. Sounded plausable..
I noticed the time of day difference and that the guys managed to get perfectly dressed but YIsLoHo didn’t take time to dry her hair. Maybe they should have called Kono instead.
LoHo’s hair was a MESS in that first scene, so much so that I thought it had to have been plot related. Apparently not!
Her hair looked heinous. HEINOUS. LG needs to file a complaint with SAG for her treatment in this scene. Instead of looking like she just got out of the shower, instead she looks like she HASN’T showered in days.
If heading out without drying her hair, why wouldn’t she just put it in a nice ponytail? So.much.better
It wax so oily! Made want to go wash my hair! Show, WHY???
In Lauren’s defence, @Plenkov informed the twitter world that “its wet”, I guess that was their way of saying, Lori didn’t have time to get ready and make herself extra pretty.
If we’re being honest, Kono’s new look bothers me more. Is she going to work or a nightclub?
yes- they wanted everyone to have early morning bedroom hair. speaking of, did you see Danno’s hair on the couch? while you all were looking at McG’s splayed FOY and chest, I was thinking- “heh heh…if I could just squeeze my way under that blankie with Danno, I could rub my fingers through his hair”. True.Story. Also.true.story : my Not Danno lays on the coach at night to watch tv when he can’t sleep. I think atplenkov is snooping around my house to get tips. If next week, Danno is play WOW I will know it to be true.
When Sheila and I travel together, I have to fall asleep first, with the tv on. Then she turns the tv off and falls asleep. This weirdo sleeping pattern I have is only when travelling. Normally, in my own room it needs to be quiet and pitch black before I can fall asleep.
I think it’s funny a SEAL can’t fall asleep with the tv on.
What is WOW? I wanna play!
WOW = World of Warcraft
Ok. I dohwaanaplaynomore.
Bahahahahahahaha
Kono’s fkn make-up is a disaster.
^^^ACA^^^
S1 Kono was youthful & innocent-looking rookie with her hair sometimes pulled back and a fresh face. A Sweet, open look. She wore colorful henleys with olive green cargo-style pants or jeans with sneakers. Compare that to S2 Kono with her big hair, lots of eyeshadow and black-on-black super tight outfits, even after she was back on the team, like in the Halloween episode.
I liked s1 Kono because it made me and my outfits seem less weird. As though it’s common place for a girl to wear jeans, t-shirts/plaid shirts whilst rocking some flats. It also suited her ACTUAL job. “Ohhh sorry Steve I missed the shot because my mascara was running and the rain totes flattened my hair.” UGH!
And yet you like Officer Supermodel? Sorry, your argument is invalid.
Oi! Just oi!
Other than when the storyline has required it, so the bit with the car, they have dressed Lori down and appropriate for the job her character has. Let’s not forget we saw Kono in her bathers, Kono in her bra and panties all in the very first episode, followed by Kono in her waitress red dress, Kono in that tiny black outift when she pretended to get kidnapped…all in season 1. So the female characters on this show have been s.xualised/ Supermodel-ifed?? long before Lori came on to the scene.
And as for the guys, please lol McG or Danno are topless like every other episode. This show knows it has a hot cast and as such uses that to it’s advantage.
But if we’re talking “purpose” here, Kono’s “purpose” was established before she even hit the TV screen. There was a reason they went to find her and her purpose was served in the very next scene. And since she used to be a pro surfer and that was her background, it really wasn’t that far fetched to find her out on the beach since she was between finishing the academy and actually getting a job. What else would she be doing in her spare time? McGarrett may take his shirt off at any time because his purpose was established 30 seconds into the pilot. He IS the the purpose of the show.
Yes, they use the s.x appeal of their cast. No doubt. But no one other than Officer Supermodel has taken 8 episodes to establish purpose. Even Kamekona’s purpose was well established on his first episode. With the amount of screen time she’s had, there is no excuse. Someone counted up the screen time and on ave per episode, she’s been on screen barely 5 min less than McG, more screen time than Danny and twice as much as Chin & Kamekona combined.
We will just have to agree to disagree on this. Like Danny & McG on pretty much everything. LOL!
I kind of love someone went to the effort to count up all the screen time. Points to them for doing that and not only being able to keep track, but not getting distracted.
Bah if we agreed on everything I’d never get to use my debating skills…..and you know that would totes be a shame….
Since we all agree Max & Kamekona’s purpose as characters has been well established, the next logical step is to get them to remove their shirts. Right?
Right?
Perhaps logic is not my friend this morning?
I am ok with that. They could work a good plot line around it. Hey, Kamekona used to be a Sumo wrestler and talks about his training. Right? Right.
Max…well…I may have to think a little harder on that one. Unless they feel fit to give us a Lori/Max s.xing scene. Wouldn’t that just be the bees knees?
The Bees Knees, Abdomens & Thoraxes!!!! Plus his wings & stingers too!!
Occurs to me that since Max drives the Bumblebee car, describing him as Bees Knees is weirdly appropriate. I’m sure LoHo is v v impressed with the car. S.xing probably occurs in the backseat.
“since Max drives the Bumblebee car, describing him as Bees Knees is weirdly appropriate” – yeah, I knew that. (cough*ITotallyDidntThinkOfThat*cough)
“Someone counted up the screen time and on ave per episode”
Oh Ess, are you that someone? C’mon now you can tell us!
No Jayne it wasn’t me. I wouldn’t have thought of that plus I tend to lose time when McG is on screen. True. Story.
I like Kono’s new look. lol
OMG, Ess and I are ACA! I like the new Kono too.
I like that there are enough people around now that someone always ends up in agreement with someone. No more sitting in the corner on our owns.
Except for TOF, where I am firmly sitting on the Forrest Gump bench all by myself.
SHEILA, for the love of GOD, CALL ME!
TOF…Sheila brings this movie up whenever she wants to see something I don’t want to go see. “Remember Grace, when we watched TOF? That is why you have to see Monte Carlo with me.” TOF has ended up costing me a lot more then the 12 bucks I paid at the counter.
Selena + Bieber 4EVAH!
You owe Sheila. Big.time.
Gracie, do you make Sheila beg for 6 months? Then and only then will it be like the time you made her watch TOF.
Ess I will argue TOF was good and Chalet Girl, which she did make me go see, was AWFUL!
Westy, I shall join you on the Forrest Gump bench my love, because I still haven’t watched it!
Westy and Jayne. I’ve actually been to where Forrest Gump was filmed, Savannah, Georgia. It’s such a pretty place and a wonderful movie. Watch it.
Don’t do it! Don’t do it!
Read the book instead! There’s HIV in the book. And he’s not as awesome. Just retarded.
JUST KIDDING.
“OMG, Ess and I are ACA!” = holy sh*t I think that’s a sign of the apocolypse. *love*
LOL–File a complaint with SAG.
But, seriously, why make her hair wet? What was the point of that?
Really. Take the time to dry your hair. Mummy isn’t going to get any deader.
Did you notice the way his left hand slightly almost grazed the FOY when coming down the steps and walking to the TV kinda like he was pointing to the obvious. When he reclined and his legs fell open so did my mouth, DROOLING!
Walking towards the TV — this is not my observation, but one others have pointed out — it doesn’t look like he’s wearing anything **underneath** the sweats, if you follow my meaning.
For reals do ya think he was semi freeing the FOY?
It was a semi-free. For sho.
CLAPPING my hands together like a kid getting a new toy!!!
EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING!!
When the FOY was illuminated in the light of the TV, I had to pause the show in admiration.
Must go back and watch that part again…..for the 100th time…although not complaining…BRB
OMG! Beautiful!
The walk (hope I didn´t post this before)
http://s203.photobucket.com/albums/aa43/kristiina13/cropped%20and%20pimped/?action=view¤t=walking6gif.gif
Paula: What if you did, it is something that should be seen over and over, THNX
Perhaps the semi-freeing is McG practicing for the the full on #freetheFOY.
All the more reason for him to REMOVE HIS PANTS! so.so.close.
Somehow I didn’t notice his hand, only what it was pointing to!
The reclining position — that was so Alex teasing his fans (or maybe just the FUCUPS).
Noticed hand on my rewatch only.
A couple observations on the bedroom scene, because really…what else happened?
1. every time he shifted the head board wobbled back and forth. I.e., that bed has seen some serious action to make the headboard loose. S.x Bootcamp McG style!!
2. The way McG mumbles to himself when putting on his shirt. LOL! almost made it worthwhile seeing him put on his shirt. I said ALMOST you c*nts!
3. I truly lost a bunch of brain cells during this scene. The man has the most amazing upper body I have ever seen.. True. Story.
4. Not McG is lucky he was not home last night. Again I wanted to wake Not McG up and punch him for not being McG.
ACA now if we could only see the lower body we would have the perfect trifecta (HEAD) (UPPER BODY) (LOWER BODY- AKA THE FOY)
1. That bed was SUPER squeaky/flimsy. NO FURTHER COMMENT.
2. Must wear shirts for “business” conversations
3. bye bye Ess’s brain!
4. should I get your Not McG some free weights for Christmas?
Confession: Not McG has been v v faithful at hitting the gym and has recently obtained a rather nice set of guns himself. I may or may not have closed my eyes and squeezed them whilst imagining beautiful blue tattoos and IMHOTSTUFFITIS…
It wouldn’t have killed him to leave the shirt off. Does he really need it just to go downstairs?!?!
And since we’re talking about shirtless McG… #freethegecko
#freethegecko
#freetheonethatsnotthegecko
#freethetrampstamp
#freetheFOY
#freeeverything
#freebird
Freebird. Hehee
*LOVE*
Using M’s crayons and Kimmer’s architectural skills, I think we need to design a bed for McG.
Requirements:
1) Must be large enough to handle McG, the FOY, and at least one partner
2) Must be made out of sturdy material (wood, steel, concrete, etc.)
3) Did I mention the FOY? aslkjfdlk asdjdfhdf ashhdfk
4) What was I talking about?
I wanted to sit on McGs stomach, play with his nips like they were my car stereo nobs and “shift” with the FOY. For realz.
But if your hands are busy with the nobs, what are you shifting with??
Maybe her Teeth!
Plus, I can’t make it out, but I think he is mumbling something about buying gold coins – I couldn’t tell because I was yelling at the TV – “They only CALL them sleep pants! No one actually SLEEPS in THEM!” Such a lost opportunity. I was hoping to see Calvin again. Or nothing but FOY – but that was a looong shot (you’re welcome)
I seriously want to punch Not McG for the very same reason, everyday!
ESS you beat me too it! When McG’s shirtless it’s nearly impossible to notice anything else but all I saw (aside from his lovely manscaped chest) was that headboard wobbling back and forth. All that “Barry White” time with Cath must’ve loosened up the frame. For safety’s sake he needs a sturdy bed frame.
By the looks of that bed I’m beginning to think Cath asked to get sent away for a while to let her girl bits recover.
***I’m free McGarrett!!!
Confession: it wasn’t Cath that has loosened the frame, it was me! Its why I’ve been late posting these last few episodes. All that time playing with the FOY makes me all wobbly & makes typing a b*tch!
Jayne had to scale the headboard to get into McG’s bed. Because she is wee, and I love her for it.
Wee Jayne. Please change your name. Legally.
I fashioned a grappling hook out of some dental floss & a paperclip to get to the top of the bed! It was time consuming but well worth it.
Dear Jayne, you are my hero. Details pls.
Ess my dear, these details are too much for even here. I shall have to tell you in person, over cocktails, trust me it will help! I will fly to you because it’s cold here, & by cold I mean bloody freezing, whereas I suspect you’re still basking in the sunshine
True story, I still have shorts & a T-shirt on. Only because McG is no where around.
PS…I love your new name. HARD.
omg- the mumbling thing was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO funny- just like a married person does when their spouse annoyed the f*ck out of them. I should know. I mumble a lot. I think I am the McG of the relationship.
Also, I am with McG on the Navy shower thing. There is no reason to stand in the shower for 20 minutes. It is waste of water. Get in and get out. Unless you have company, like the FOY and then well, carry on…
My fair state was in a drought for 12 years. 4 min showers have been the way to go for me for quite some time. You had to ask yourself, do I want drinking water or shower water? It’s not really that tough a choice….. There were years when the only place we could wash our cars was at car wash. Poor cars.
pishaw….NJ had droughts too but I could never take a 3 minute shower…especially if Danno is with me
Even with no drought here I don’t get the long showers on a daily basis. I mean, its so wasteful. get in get done what you need to do and get out. its that simple.
I would love to say that my short showers are all about conservation, but really, they are all about me getting more sleep time.
I must confess I am a 15-20 minute shower person. Especially when washing my hair, I must rinse and rinse and rinse conditioner out. I think I am a little OCD when rinsing.
or just stand under the water.
I honestly don’t know how people can take short showers. I don’t do anything ‘extra’ in there
I’m with Westy! Well not when she’s showering, but you know on the time spent in showering part. Maybe it because of my height, it takes a long time for the water to reach my head!
Speaking for short, Jayne. Do you know that at SEAL training when they are coming up with teams they do it by height. So the small people team is called the smurf team. I sh.t you not, on the front of their boat they even have a picture of a smurf.
I would probably be on the smurf team
Nah mate you’d be on the team with Jayne and I, we’re the shortest.
So our team is you, me, Jayne and you know, Danno.
Omg.
Jayne even has the blond hair. She IS Smurfette.
I am pretty sure there isn’t normally a Smurfette, but we can totes have one on our team. Was there an emo smurf?
I am Smurfette. The secrets out!
Is there a special cover placed over drain, to ensure you are not lost to us forever, Wee Jayne?
M, be safe in the knowledge that I have a special cover to ensure I’m not swept away down the drain, I also have a small ladder similar to those found in bird cages so that I can safely climb in & out of the shower tray!
“I will count the FUCUP’s jumping through his thighs.” ROFL. I do believe you are even funnier when cranky MAMA. Who knew! McMo
ACA…McG’s got alot of rules.
“Observations on the bedroom scene because really..what else happened?” Love you ESS, don’t ever change. McMo
“Love you ESS, don’t ever change” – I seriously doubt I ever will McMo.. doubt I ever will.
McMo:Waving, WJ
Yeah M, recap is here !
I am so sad for McG .. Must have nevah had shower sex.
Maybe they take a bubble bath, now that would be sexy!
Maybe he has had shower sex…maybe 3 minutes is long enough for him?
*thinking*
Nah!
Counting FUCUPs. HAHAHAHA
Fast start out of the gate there, M!
HI WJ. Hey, does the McCasa have a bathtub?? McMo
I don’t think we’ve ever seen the bathroom…Have we? Kimmer? Do we have a sketch of the McG hacienda?
We got a glimpse of the bathroom in the Cath/meets Mary episode- but I don’t recall seeing a tub.
And, thank you. Now I am obsessing about where T fck are all the rooms at McCasa. Like I need to draw more floorplans.
But, I can almost guarantee that it does not have little pink and blue heart tiles in it.
*hee*
It would have to have a tub or where else would he keep his toy boat.
Toy boat, toy boat! WJ ILU!!!!
I missed the toy boat joke… ??
LOL, there isn’t one, it’s just a McG-appropriate tongue twister which all FUCUPs should know.
are you all playing ‘hide the submarine’ with the FOY again w/o me?
*snort*
Not me. I’m playing ‘Hey McG, I can catch that torpedo!’
If I can carve out some time this week, imma try my hand at the layout of Chez McGarrett. So pressure’s off, Kimmers.
Sweet!
Is it inlaid with marbles and Aussie dollars?
HAHAHA!! Mumbles. I love Mumbles.
In my dreams it has a big claw footed tub big enough for 2+ the FOY. WJ
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I want to say that I loved this scene between McG and Danny so much. It was very quick but a quick little thing when McG tells him he doesn’t mind him crashing with him and Danno goes, “thank you” or “appreciated” or something. (details, schmetails) I liked that they backed off each other to be polite in the middle of an argument. Love these 2 hard.
^^^^^ACA THIS COMMENT^^^^ EVERY WORD ACA!!!!
I loved this scene too – it really shows the level of friendship that they have achieved.
And – at the end, with the headphones? I totally think that McG wants Danny to stick around as his roomie for a while.
Kimmer- air hearts in your direction forever.
Kimmer! Oh I loved that bit at the end too. Almost as much as I like it when people randomly buy me presents. It was so thoughtful. He’s not a neanderthal animal after all.
ACA. I also love it when people buy my presents! Strangely it happens quite often. Not McG calls me a smacked a*se, because of the things I get!
Oh and I had a thought. If Danno has so much trouble sleeping with the ocean, why is he contemplating moving into a place down the road from McG? Is his house going to be made of sound proof walls? Because even if he lived on the opposite side of the street I’m pretty sure you’d still hear the waves. And yes this question did come to me at 1am this morning.
He wants to be near Steeeeve!
and they can surf (it’s about time Danny learnt), and have BBQs and watch baseball and scare off future Gracie monkeys boyfriends.
Me, you & Steve are the only ones kept up worried Danny’s getting enough beauty rest.
spec’ since if it was up to me, Danny would get NO sleep at night
– aye aye nudge nudge wink wink.
No wonder his eyes always look so sleepy! You go girl!
LOL. Stephanie I am a terrible sleeper. I spend a lot of time doing the thinking at night, so it’s only a matter of time before I end up pondering h50.
I loved all the Steve and Danno moments. So now I have to practice my grinning like an id.ot face as well. i’m getting so good at being a lying liar who lies, maybe I need to start playing poker.
Liked the opening scene and the banter between McG and Danno, but ALL CAPS REALLY LOVED M’s recap and all of your comments after. I am *dying* reading them. I <3 FUCUPs!
Love is all around.
XXOOXXOO
I was so v v excited last nite when shirtless McG appeared on my tv. Then when he SPLAYED HIS LEGS OPEN in the reclining chair, all I could think was The FOY, The FOY, The FOY, and what is preteeee Maha going to say about this scene?
Also, I <3 those fast and the furious movies. They are so much fun. And the cars. Ugh! Love them. These ones were ok, I do love classic cars. My personal fav is a black Chevy Impala '67. Sorry Marquis. I will change teams though if you are always driven by someone who looks like Alex.
And you must always be black.
S
W
A
H
I
L
I
HAHA!
You SPN girls and your love of Impalas!
No that we´ve seen McG in bed this epi, how long till the next opportunity arrives…
That body needs to be aired shirtless every week! As I´ve said before, he´s not gonna look like this forever, I´m sure Alex would like to show it off, for us, all the time
And again sleeping in long johns? And putting on a tee before going downstairs…doesn´t make ANY sence!!??? We need a FUCUP to sneak in the wardrobe and cut these pants, shorter than short short short
And could Alex please stop talking with his hands, it´s annoying and distracting my viewing pleasures.
Really? I love when he talks with his hands. He’s got amazing hands.
I feel the hands are talking too loud
smaller movements would be preferred.
btw as soothing as the sounds of waves are, they are still noise, and I have had to wear ear plugs on vacations because of this “noise”. But think tv would be even worse to listen to. If Danny had been crashing at McG´s for 2 weeks, why wait till now to say something about this?
Alex talks with his hands in real life, I don’t think he can do it without. Lol!
ACA on the pants/shorts sitch! It’s freakin Hawaii! Why do the Koalas refuse to show us the thighs? If anything rivals his beautiful chest, its the thighs. Unff.
#freethethighs
#freethethighs
http://h50bamf.tumblr.com/post/12907178104
Wow! ::::::Drooling:::::
Thank you for the hot thigh montage!
Thighs!! *sighs*
Mmmmmm thighs.
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
I love his hands too. And his feet. Maybe I have an extremities fetish.
I count the FOY amongst his extremities.
*hee*hee*
This was the perfect opportunity for McG skin. Who directed this epi? We should organise a petition and voice our displeasure #sarcasm
Hi all – I’m a newbie here. I coulda sworn the FOY waved at me through those jammie pants on the way down the stairs. My panties waved back.
Welcome Annie Get Yer Gun!!!
Haha !
Hi Annie, er wait … Melanie ? nope. Annie !
Welcome to the madness !
Hi – Just goes to show you THE FOY wants to be freed as much as we do.
There´s NO sense in their wardrobe in this show! “Always” pants and a shirt on top of a tee? I would love to see McG´s legs uncovered.
And C.C.Chin´s guns are hiding under those hawaii shirts…
Lori´s tight pants in the car show scene looked awful! The colour and tightness, looked very uncomfortable in Hawaii sun/heat. So far think Kono´s look has agreed with me, best.
Nicknames for Paula?
*Baby Hater
*Hey That GIF Is Too Big For Tumblr
*Sparkles
*Le Fin (hahahaha I slay me)
*McG’s Left Moob
or :*Why would you sit on his head?*
But, if I get a vote, “baby hater” makes me laugh repeatedly.
ACA .. Baby Hater ! HA.
“Baby Hater”
It’s done.
My gifs are still f.cking TOO big for tumblr! Just posted a couple of McG´s face.
And yes I love sparkles
Le Fin? I actually never made the connection of a fin with Finland…silly me…
Baby hater sounds very negative, though cannot deny I am one
Googled if there´s such a word as bater (a mash-up for the above),
result=Urban Dictionary: One who dedicates his/her life to strive for a better bate. Not to be confused with Masturbator, a common Wanker.
Yeahhhhhhh! NOOOOOOOO!
I am just glad I didn’t have to explain Sparkles, that would have been embarrassing for me, thank goodness you are a smarty babyhater.
I am aware of my “sparkling needs”, try to keep it under control, but I´m not done with them, just yet
I have no idea what Sparkles is.
Please explain.
Her eyes Sparkle when we talk of McG? I have no idea either. Clarica! Which, by the way. I almost used in a sentence today. but I caught myself so it came out like “please claric-fy *fake cough* …clarify ….”
This is an example of why Sparkles might be a possible nickname: http://neropatti.tumblr.com/post/12748400584/i-live-my-life-with-lightness-and-laughter
SPARKLES!!!!
O wow.
Because she often “sparkles and unicorns, and rainbow skittles is how much I heart danno. Beneath my fold.”
Omg I am DYING.
Baby Basher.
Infant Hater.
Wanker Smasher.
Masturbator.
HAHAHAHAHA
So which is it, Mama?
Which huh?
I can’t believe that I was able to see this, what with McG’s naked chest and The FOY tucked snuggly into bed, but did anyone else note the beautiful Hawaiian quilt on McG’s structurally unsound bed?
Just checked Nalowale and Ke Kinohi and didn’t see the quilt in either ep.
Ha ha ha I was giving Ess fits the other day talking about the hula girl prints on the back wall in the room. I will have to watch again for the quilt now.
Let me guess, she called you a c.nt for noticing the prints?
However did you know?
But did y’all notice the toy train?
Is that another euphemism for penis? Because no, no I did not notice a train!
LOL. As soon as I posted that comment, I thought one of you would say something about the FOY.
I watched that scene a couple many many times and noticed different things. But mostly the chest. Sigh…
Good thought as someone Always Eventually says something about the FOY. Really there could have been pink elephants in grass skirts doing the hula in the room, McG’s assorted body parts is still all these horny b,tches would have talked about!
I did see the return of the Orange Gecko Hiding Paint though, sadly. Badly applied as ever.
StephanieJayne –’Have you been threatening people again? In Denver airport I saw a young guy with a shirt that said PROTECT YOUR JUNK! True.story
Junk is always at risk to be kicked, smart man to want to protect it. Hopefully he is not a sh.tty koala writer or showrunner responsible for brining Nick Lashay or P Diddy on H50. He’s pretty safe otherwise!
Just to be clear: The FOY is not junk, is of the higest quality, not junk by a long shot. I kick junk to protect the interests of the FUCUPs. And the FUCUPs don’t have many interests, as a group, beyond the FOY.
Also, Karin, for your trip to Hawaii, check out this website maybe go take a tour or something if you are in Honolulu: http://www.bayerestate.com/index.html
This is Poppa McG/McG/(and now Danno’s?) house! I stumbled across this website while making my McG house floor plan.
How’s that house plan coming along?
Slow going, LOL. I have learned I have no concept of direction or space. But I have the ground floor mapped out. The top floor will be more difficult because we’ve seen less of it and it doesn’t align w/the ground floor (the living room has a two story vaulted ceiling).
I think I figured it out, why the gecko tat is badly covered. There´s obviously at least 2-3 chicks doing this job, and each one is trying to fix the other one´s “bad” job! They just want an excuse to touch his nip and torso as much as possible. We should get them fired, and sneak in one of us as a super duper professional tattoo cover painter
!
We should all update our resumès. I graduated top of my class in tattoo cover painter school!!
Could we cover in caramel or butterscotch, it would make it easier to lick off. Just saying
Yes please!
OOOh! Milk chocolate, pleeeeeease. And his skin tone is so close already. We would have to test several different cover “paints” to decide wich works best!
Paula, Morag: How about a taste testing road trip to Hawaii? We could then try all 31 Baskin & Robbins flavors out on him just for giggles.
P.S. A FOYCONE sounds good to doesn’t it.
Yes. I hear it is frothy if shaken.
I’m in!!
(M) would that be like a FOYCONE with whipped cream??? Almost forgot you’re so pretteeeeee
FOYCONE, naturally produces froth when shaken.
I need Paula to come and ask “why shake it?”
PRETEEEEEE.
Train??? Hula Prints??? Quilts???
I would be remiss if I did not say this and I say this will all the **LOVE** in my heart…but WHAT THE F*CKETY F*CK, you c*nts???
HAHAHA! I was waiting for this.
I love love love you Ess!
I <3 you too!! I could not disappoint ya'll! I think I will have it engraved on my headstone when I die.
"Here lies Princess Buttercup A/K/A ESS.
She loved her some crazy c*nts."
Too funny.
Yes. I am with Princess on this.
You all are, like, degenerates or something.
LOVE YOU.
OMG I’m laughing so much it hurts!
Bahahahahahahahahahahahahaha…. Stops, pauses for breath, Bahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Haha! I missed you Jayne! haha!
MIZZZZZZZZ….. let’s talk about the “train.” You did see something, didn’t you?? I have seen evidence of a train-like object in McG’s bedroom. So were you serious about the train or totally joking? Because if you were totally joking, I’m gonna post a picture that’s gonna blow your mind.
No, no metaphorical references to the FOY. An actual choo choo.
I am a McNerd and interested in set design. After *several* watchings of the scene (the chest! love that chest!) I checked it out for room decoration & noticed the train, hula prints & quilt.
Ok So now you all have to help me here solve the mystery of the ???MAYBE A TRAIN??? See the picture here: http://stephaniejane2.wordpress.com/2011/11/19/hello-world/
Return to sardonics for comments.
I like your idea Steph, it makes a lot more sense for it to be navy related then to have a train. Having said that I (some would say randomly) have a model car on my bookshelf so who knows, maybe McG just really digs trains.
Unless it’s some inside set joke. On Stargate they used to randomly place whole pineapples in scenes as their inside joke.
Are you saying we do a complete H50 re-watch for the purposes of train spotting???
Any excuse will do ey?
Yup, thats a train, you have an eye for detail.
I don’t think it is a train! I think it is a submarine and some other sh/t!
It has a smokestack I think, I paused when watching on computer, I still think you are right either way.
LOL you are cracking me up here WJ! It either is a train or it isn’t…!
Yeah, well I was just on twitter and making comments thinking like was on here and had to delete. Boy do I feel stupid, on twitter not here, you forgive don’t you.
You make me smile WJ!!!! Hugsies & air hearts at you!!!
Thanks Steph: Man I was also getting emails out of the A$$ and my dog had to go pee. I am a Fking wreck now.
Gotta take the dog out when it needs to go! LOL!
Sometimes I wonder if one arm will be longer than the other. McMo still thinks thats a train and I am so confused now I don’t know what it is
I don’t think its a train either. The smoke stack looks out of proportion.
So obvi is life size FOY protector
Aaaahahahahahahahahahahaaaaa!!!!!!!!
Maybe Joe White gave toy train to little Stevie.
def a train- I rewatched it tonite – it even has a caboose
Seems like such an odd prop choice I guess. Are there even any trains on Oahu?
Dang it, you are just *forcing* me to McNerd!
When sugar cane was big business in Hawaii, several islands actually built railways to transport the sugar cane from the fields to the mills. (They later carried pineapples and other freight, and sometimes had scheduled passenger runs as well.) A few islands have restored the tracks and a few of the cars for tourist activities.
That said, boys just like trains. I believe that the train in the bedroom is a memento from McG’s (lost) childhood.
That was an epic McNerding I loved it!!! Yes, boys do like trains (and submarines and tonka trucks) so who knows maybe it was a replica of an old pineapple express rail car. I am 100% behind the idea it’s a toy from his childhood. Gift from momma McGarrett.
I like that a lot.
I think I just <3 this entire discussion. We went from talking about how many rooms in the house to why McG is so connected to it and then someone said something about his lost childhood and I wanted to go hug my care bear.
Ok I rewatched it too, you get the best look at it before we all get distracted by McG topless. I think it’s a train. If it’s not a train then it’s some set persons idea of a joke, “hey let’s make this random pile of stuff look like a train so pepole out there can debate over it. That’d be totes funny of us.”
I think one of the reasons McG stays in that house, even tho his dad was murdered there, is that it is like a museum to his childhood–furniture and objects that his parents purchased, things that he grew up with. Many homes in Hawaii have those quilts and those types of prints. But I thought the train was something literally from his childhood.
Aww, I like this explanation, like the train was an old present from his mom that he found somewhere in the house and brought it into the room as a momento.
Underneath the tough exterier, McG is a very sentimental, loyal man. Probably due in part to all the losses he’s had and his Navy training. I can’t see him living anywhere other than his family home. That’s where the roots of his ohana is.
Question: In the tool box episode, McG mentions that Mamo lived close to them when growing up. Is the house now the one PaPa McG moved to when MaMa McG was killered and he sent Baby McG’s away?
I think most of us assume that the house is the one Steve & Mary grew up in and that Poppa McG never moved after Momma McG was killed/he sent away the kids.
2 bedroom house where in the f*ck did they sleep?
Hmm maybe. Good point. Are you sure there’s only 2 upstairs bedrooms? (if you are, let me know how you know ’cause I’m still working on the floor plan). Maybe there is an attic room or something off the garage?
No attic, no room off the garage (that I remember, anyway).
So You Have BEEN THERE?!!??! DISH PLEASE.
Long long loooooong time ago for an event. It is right on the water, gorgeous gardens and landscaping.
I wish I remembered more about the layout of the house. I cannot say for sure, but the upstairs loft might curve around a bit, making room for the 3rd bedroom.
akldskjdkjlasl;kjfdal;jdfalkjdalkdja;l
I’m jealous.
Also, I knew there was something funny about the top level floorplan. It’s like space gets bent up there. I’m working on it!
I grew up about a mile from that house.
You know, for the show, they shot exteriors of the house but built the interior on a soundstage. So it is the house, but not really the house…
You’ve already seen this, right? http://www.bayerestate.com/photo_gallery_interior.html
Can’t wait to see your floor plan!
YES I have been all over that site like a crazy person. It’s so beautiful but I want to tell all the happy married people to get out of my way they’re blocking my view of the floor, walls and doors, LOL! Any idea what the real address is? Something tells me it’s Not 2727 Piikoi.
LOL. Piikoi is a main street in downtown Honolulu.
The real address of the house is 5329 Kalanianaole Highway, Honolulu, HI 96821.
I am pretty sure there are at least 3 bedrooms (and a bath) upstairs; the house is good-sized.
I guess there is more room in that little house than it appears, there must be rooms above garage, although has anyone seen the outside of that darn garage? Maybe the house grows as they need it, which would mean map would keep changing.
Isn’t Piikoi the street that the old Advertiser bldg is on? I remember from last year that it was some shout out to the old show.
Nope. The old Advertiser building is on Kapiolani. Piikoi Street is close. And I don’t believe Piikoi even goes up to the 2700′s for addresses.
Totally a train. Why is it so huge? Does he drive it using The FOY, I do not understand.
He provides the thrust that drives the train.
Being a good little FUCUP, I have been studying this pic on and off all day. I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s not a train, but a table – you know, one of those tall, narrow tables (I think you call them sofa tables?). I think the object on the left is a chair, and the smokestack and other things sticking up out of the ‘body’ of the train are just stuff on the table.
there was a quilt? was too busy counting hairs on McG’s chest….a one, a two….a three….
**pouting**
#EndManscapingNow
#nochesthairformcg YEAH!
And just like that, our ACA moment is history…
http://www.mycoven.de/hawaii-five-o-news/special-ed-hawaii-five-0-episode-2-09-screencaps-hq/
here´s a pic of the quilt. And McG in it
That was a beautiful FOY cover. Never thought I could be jealous of a quilt. Great pics.
I love the FOY cover as a term, but on the other hand, why sleep with such a thick cover! He must be covered in sweat…poor thing… sweating FOY
I think they tease us. Maybe air conditioner up high, after all Danny had a blanket over him. Can you imagine if AOL had gotten out of the bed in boxers or jockeys, how many women would have hit the floor.
It was absolutely teasing in this scene with him sleeping top bare and then made him put on the tee to go downstairs…just killing me to catch that brief glimpse of his superfit torso
It does seem weird for the thick quilt with long pajama pants, but no shirt??? And with not much chest hair surviving the waxing & trimming, aren’t his nips ccccccold????
Bottom half of McG w/The FOY was cold needing quilt, but top half with waxed chest was sweaty/hot needing no shirt.
I cannot follow this logic.
ALL McG clothes and blankies must be removed for further scientific study.
I would love to work on the set. Who´s idea is it when to show off his body naked or dressed? Do they take a vote….everyone for no shirt on-raise your hand
They have women running around on set in barely there bikinis but they don’t even want us to see AOL’s knees. WHAT’S UP WITH THAT!!
Is the set a democracy or dictatorship? Could affect voting results….
“aren’t his nips ccccccold????” – you complete me
<3 air hearts <3
STEPH – You’re not seeing things…I saw the old time Choo-Choo train too. Thank goodness it was a few seconds before the shot of McG laying in bed cause my eyeballs, like everyone one elses, locked firmly onto that heavenly vision. I’m pretty sure I didn’t even blink through that entire scene. McMo
WJ – “Can you imagine if AOL had gotten out of bed in boxers or jockeys, how many women whould have hit the floor.” ROFL and totally agreeing. I can see it now, our pretty Mama straddling the TV & Kimmer licking the fk out of it. I’d just expire right there and then, so probably not the best view for me. LOL McMo
Infant would fall to the floor and smash her head on the coffee table. Never forget this image, pls.
Considering I walked into a coffee table…in my own house…where the coffee table has been in the exact same spot for 11 years, this is probably a fair call.
I have scar on face from where sis spun me into coffee table…coffee tables and older sisters are koalas
coffee tables are koalas.
McMo: I know my not McG would give me mouth to mouth to try to revive me but I would be pushing him out of the way to see the screen again. I still think at 10:00 at night CBS could push the envelope a little more, after all NYPD Blue showed Sipowitz A$$ didn’t they and that was on ABC (Disney owned). Men like to see T&A, is it asking too much to see a little AOL FOY or A$$! Hugsies WJ
HI WJ: “pushing him out of the way to see the screen again.” You crack me up, but I can see you doing this. Well, I don’t have a not McG or “Life Alert” so I guess I’d just die…but I’d die a fking happy woman.
Ewwww, Sipowitz’s A$$…talk about one end of a spectrum to another. Ewwww.
Yes, please get a petition started for CBS: FUCUPS WANT MORE AOL F&A !! F&A, F&A, F&A. McMo
McMo: Just get to your computer tweet me and I will send my not McG to the rescue but you have to promise I get him back, he ain’t no AOL but he’s not bad. Love the F& A instead of the T&A how appropriate. All jokes aside if AOL ever reads this bog and I have to believe he does because like I have said in the past some of the things said here wind up on other sites, It’s a wonder he would ever want to leave his house because there are bound to be women lurking behind every flower pot and palm tree in Hawaii. Most celebs need a body guard but he needs a FOY guard and who better than two older women. Ever heard that song “Older Women” one line says we understand. Understand, Hell Yeah! The next thing that comes to mind is where’s the beef. Duh, it’s in his pants.
WJ
WJ, love Your term “FOYCONE”, sounds appetizing
taste trip to Hawaii…yes 
WJ: How kind of you to share your not McG. FUCUP love at its finest. I don’t Tweet, so I guess I’d still be dead.
You are always a wish’in & a hop’in that AOL read us, aren’t ya? I’m still a doubter. I do think he would be kinda scared at all the stuff we write. But who knows, maybe he’d dig it. He is after all a man, a BAMF man, but still male. Thank God fans are more respectful in Hawaii than in LA or you’re right, crazed women would be flying at him from everywhere, stalking him and breaking into his home. There are so many insane nitwits in LA.
BTW….I love the term “Foycone” too. LOL McMo
Well if you don’t tweet send a shout out here and someone will see it and come to the rescue. We can’t let anything happen to you sista you are too special. Maybe you could get one of those FOY signals so McG would come and find you and then you really would need help. HAHA
Thanks God there are no nitwits here at Sardonic. We all are so intelleeegent.
I resemble that remark, I am a nitwit but not intelleeegent, sorry.
lol!!
WJ: That’s too funny…”get one of those FOY signals.” I think I read somewhere one of our creative FUCUP pals came up with a FOY signal (like Batman’s BAT signal) lighting the night sky. Yep, our FUCUP distress call…cause we’re all in such distress desiring the FOY. McMo
Yes, McMo! I was the creative koala who came up with The FOY batman signal.
What do you meeeeean you don’t remember precisely what I say at all times ever and forever?!
McMo; We were just talking about Miami Vice and Magnum this past week and today DDK tweeted about Miami Vice and how it compares to H50 and PLenkov said something about a Magnum remake, they are reading. I can now say told you so. Hugsies WJ
v v true story – they hugsies M because she is v v preeeeettttiiiiieeee & clever. but mostly preeeeetttttieeee
its about time they started paying attention. You girls know what you are talking about. M is vv preeeetttiiiiee & clever (don’t tell but you are too)
Prettteeeeeee. I only trade on my looks, please.
WJ: Oh, I never disagreed that someone in @Plenkov merry band is reading (spies amoung us,) I just don’t think it’s AOL.
I doubt remakes of either of these two classics would be successful. Do you think they could succeed? Oh, remember that horrid “Miami Vice” movie that was made a few years back. Awful. Remakes are a crap shoot at best. Thank God H50 was the “one in a hundred” and double thanks that @PLenkov & crew picked the actors they did.
Perfecto! Hugsies right back, McMo
(BTW, I still think it a old train.)
Miami Vice the movie was epic. Colin Farrell was such a f/ckjob; we were laughing hard and out loud.
Later, in an interview, he said he was high the entire filming.
If the audience was high instead if the*fine actor* that is the do*che La Farrell, perhaps it would have made watching the film a lot less painful!
So am I meant to go off and watch this movie or not???? :S If in need of a laugh, should this be my go to movie?
Watch it with Sheila; you will piss yourselves every time Colin hits the screen.
I want to think AOL is reading so he may show more skin. I agree with the remake of Miami Vice being crap. I tweeted PLenkov saying the only one who could fill Sellecks shoes had a day job already and was an actor by the name of you guessed it AOL. I wonder what he would look like with a mustache????? (I agree it’s an old train, even if its not) Hugsies WJ
Oh Mama, I should have known it was your perverted mind that came up with the FOY Signal. You are so bad….oh, and pretty & beautiful to boot. I totally believe Farrell was high during the entire filming. Bad, bad movie. McGrannyMo
WJ: I don’t know if anyone could fill the shoes of Don Johnson & Tom Selleck. I think their renditions of the characters are too imbedded & iconic. (I don’t think H50 would have worked either if TPTB hadn’t changed the premise to the extent they did.) ACA though, if anyone could replace Selleck, AOL might just be the guy. . He’s got the talent, looks, charisma, strength & witt. I’d vote a strong no on the mustache though. It would be such fun watching him getting those long legs in & out of a Ferrari every week, that’s for sure. (And he thinks the Kick-Ass Camaro is a b.tch!)
“It’s an old train.” FUCUPs UNITE! Love ya, McMo
I agree but Ess had some pics of AOL with beard and mustache and I have to tell you the man is smokin hot with or without facial hair. I would love to see those long legs in the short shorts Selleck use to wear getting out of anything really.
I completely forgot about the short shorts! In this remake of Magnum, with Alex, he could bring Scott to play his rich friend (no idea what his caracter was called).
I remember this show was fun, these two had that banter going on like McG and D.
I don’t remember the other guy either, but with the then Tom Selleck who would. Alex would have to get used to wearing very little clothing the way Selleck did and I think we would all be onboard for that.
This is either going to show my age or my ability to hold vast amounts of pop culture in my brain… the British guy was Higgins, he looked after the house Magnum lived in that was owned by the rich guy who was always absent. Bonus points McNerd: Magnum was also a SEAL.
I also forgot Magnum was a Seal and wasn’t he also a Lt. I have to say some of the scenes with Magnum and Higgins remind me a little of Steve and Danno. Higgins like Danno dry sense of humor, Magnum like Steve was playful but also stoic. Thanks for helping me remember. These old gray brain cells need help sometimes.
Rich guy was “Robin Masters” and in the series finale it was intimated that Higgins was actually Robin Masters all along. Loved that show!
WJ / PAULA: “Love to see those long legs getting in & out of anything.” Amen to that gf. @PLenkov must be interested in Magnum because it was the show that replaced H50 back in the day. I still don’t think a Magnum P.I. remake would make it, but Lord knows, I’m wrong more than right these days.
I think the rich guy you are thinking of was his buddy Rick. Higgins was the older “man in charge” of the mansion. These two had some pretty good repartee going on too.
My preference is no facial hair on AOL, but I’m the oddball out here. Almost every FUCUP simply LOVES hair on our man’s gorgeous face.
Remember now, we may get to see legs, but 90% of the time that 6′, 4″ hunky, tall drink of water only wore Hawaiian shirts. Another item I do not like on our McAOL. Ewwwwweee! Hugsies, McMo
MORAG. Good memory there..I forgot, Magnum was a SEAL. And now that you have reminded me, I do recall an ep where he was wearing a white, dress Navy uniform & he rocked that puppy out! Thanks for the memory. hugsies, McMo
McMo/Morag Good morning to you. I will take AOL anyway I can get him. I was thinking about the new Magnum and I just hope PLenkov doesn’t try to do anything just yet. If he works on so much other stuff our H50 might get watered down and that would be bad. I am hoping he just mentioned that because of what we were commenting on. I do think it would be nice to have a crossover with Blue Bloods. I would pay to see a show with Tom Selleck and AOL together on screen, it would really be hot. Even though Selleck is older now he still has a killer smile and we already know what our boy AOL can do.
We should inundate atplenkov with tweets suggesting Selleck as a guest star.
PLenkov has addressed the Selleck issue by saying he was busy filming Blue Bloods, so we can only hope. Maybe we need to inundate T.Selleck begging for a crossover. Maybe he can take his family on vacation and need H50′s help
I don’t think @PLenkov & TPTB could handle more than one series at a time. They have enough problems with H50. Selleck & AOL would make for an interesting duo on screen though, but that’s alot of hotness coming at us all at once. We might need blinders.
Speaking of hotties, I just got a glimps of Shemar Moore shirtless & I likey lots. I’ve just ordered (it’s nice to be the boss) the wingnuts in the R&D lab at the CeBeSex H50 Adult Toy Factory to get working on a “Derek Morgan, FBI B.A.U. Agent” Criminal Minds Crossover A.F. (I’m a wish’en.) He will make a nice addition to the “Kinzi” A.F. which is still in the works. I would just love to see these two & McG working on something (?) either on screen or in our A.F. fantasy world. I’ve put a rush on “Derek” because…..DAMN! McMo
Ebony and Ivory or Shemar and Alex!
Shemar and Alex!!!! FTW!! The world serioulsy cannot handle their hotness together. That’s why they weren’t allowed to have a common scene in Alex’s CM epi. Too.much.perfection.
Though I liked Shemar better with a little hair and he needs to back off the teeth whitening…
McMo- blinders!! so true, I am now ruined for the work day pondering Selleck and AOL on H50 at the same time – might as well go to lunch- or is that put my lunch in his face? or take his lunch? I’ve completely forgotten the lunch reference, but did find your Navy shower refernce back on page 1- which made it into the next week’s epi. Good job! cvc
OMG….PERFECT!! Love ya, McMo
Right back at ya! wj
ESS: How about it? I’ve never seen Shemar shirtless before & OMG, my pace maker hasn’t skipped that much since first I saw our McHotness emerging from the Ocean in Ohana.
You’re right, they were never next to each other in CM. Yep, too much sizzle for sure.
It’s the the chocolate deeeelight skin color, always makes teeth look whiter. I think I like his head just the way it is. Man’s definately got it going on.
McMo
Nah, he needs to back off the teeth whitening. I’ve been watching him for yrears. Trust.
Shemar is a very good actor and I just love his character on CM. Would be a DREAM to have him cross over to H50.
Well, last year they had that dirty blonde chick from the FBI now it’s time for a hunk, let them send Morgan please not Rossi!
I wouldn’t mind Reed. Not for the hot factor, but he would be HILARIOUS on the show! He would totally get under Danny’s skin. heh.
Yeah, or how about Reed and Max that would really be something
ESS: OK, I’ll take your word for it and having him on H50 would be dreamy for sure……. McMo