Hey y’all.
New format this week and maybe the same in the future. I am quite low on energy for Show and so will not be recapping in as great detail as prior. As such, this week’s recap (and maybe all future) will be shorter, with my sole focus on the funny, ridiculous, and gorgeous. You have all watched the episodes, and so you’ll know, like the good FUCUP H00kers that you are. Let’s see how this goes!
Love,
M
- Dumb people who weren’t brea$tfed as babies are throwing themselves backwards into the arms of other dumb people, also not brea$tfed as infants. I have never understood this exercise. Honestly. All this says to me is that people are dumb. And they may crack their heads because other people are dumb, too.
- Also, that guy asking Josie what’s up, is he J-Lo’s ex husband?
- Josie needs to buy her friends, because how else would you explain that she just tried to bribe them with drinks, so that they would stop propelling themselves backwards into the arms of dumb people while blind-folded?
- Josie, while taking a suck and getting ready to get her alcoholic on is walking through the trees when she comes upon some man in a tribal red set of Pampers, screaming and covered in blood. He has just finished his long weekend at S/x Boot-camp, McG Styles.
- More Elvis singing, and though this might lead one to believe that Show is going to show us Daniel in bed with Rac Hell, he is in fact burning a fritata (a word not in my spell check) at McG Shangri-La.
- Oh look, McG slaps the fire alarm to quiet its screaming. Audience confirms that this is also how he calms screaming women down during Sex Boot-camp, McG Styles. Can’t wait!
- “How was your vacation with Catherine on the battleship?” made me laugh my pants right off, and the subsequent McG response that he was not on a Battleship but rather an “aircraft carrier…different boats” made me laugh just as hard. Well done, Show.
- At the crime scene, McG hitches his pants, Hiro-Max talks about time travel, Daniel — smelling like a burnt fritata — worries about the chaffing caused by Red Pampers. Also, Alex O’Loughlin looks about 12 years younger (and so only 52 years old) and he keeps eyes/xing the trees to remind us how handsome devil masculine his big thighs really are, since we’re talking about chaffing.
- There appear to be a hundred warriors re-enacting some…thing. I really don’t wish to upset anyone’s cultural heritage. Calling them Red Pampers is enough for one day. Especially because there’s a man with mushrooms lodged into his head (which, maybe Daniel can use for his fritata?):
- And if you’re wondering from where Daniel found his wee blow horn, it’s in fact what he uses to provide shape to the Pompadour. As soon as scene was finished, he tucked it right back beneath his fold (not to be confused with Lainie’s fold, beneath which she regularly tucks Daniel).
- As soon as everyone is told to chill, King Rooster (Mamo) comes over to have a loving chat with McG’s awesome fkn curls.
- Mamo tells McG and Daniel that Doctors, Teachers, and professionals don’t commit crime. HA HA HA!!!! As Show tells us on the regular, only criminals commit crime, because Show plays only in black and white, unless it’s about moral irresponsibility.
- P.S. McG surely has a Red Pamper at home. Surely.
FIRST!! And sitting on the ledge by myself….with coffee because it’s too early to drink!!
hello hello- was typing at same times as you- jinx
Here I am! Squish over and make some room for me on the ledge!
It’s officially 2:51pm and not one bit of food has passed my lips. Is it a bad idea to take a hit of alchy whipped cream?
Put it on a cupcake. You’re all good.
Wow, I thought I knew you better than this, there is no bad time for alchohol……
It’s 23.20 here so I’m fine.
Are you kidding me? Here I sit at 3:15pm and not one drop of alkie has entered my sytem in over 24 hours. I have the DTs. Plus, its cold as hell here and the view sucks.
Alkie whipped cream may be my only salvation.
I wanna be on the ledge too!!!!!!!
I am so disappointed I missed the Ledge Chat today.
Maha .. For some strange reason, I loved the Mushroom Helmet !
I missed Ledge Chat too, but this episode of Show pushed me so far away from the Edge of my Ledge I wouldn’t have been around to party anyway.
Whatever got me on Ledges before this show was the anti, the cure for all that Ledged me. Like Danno/McG in the opening scene, with continuity: McG in fatigues, ansurysm face, the dog!! Continuity makes me happy. Consistency in character — Max being an adorable nerd & Danno frustrated with finding himself in nerd-town. Adorable. Also Consistency in Danny’s character via being uneducated about Hawaiian culture & learning about it from Chin & Kono. So good!
Wait, maybe I am confused ? My ledge is merely a place to hang out, swing my feet and pass the vodka drinks around whilst waiting on each page of Maha’s recaps to appear. My ledge is a No H8 place ! Totes !
You are so smart LB! I think at first ledges represented that place where Show makes us want to fling ourselves off into the void (like the idea of Rachel’s baby maybe being Danny’s, Shelburne being Momma McG, etc.). HOWEVER, smarties as we are have made the Ledges a party place… made them happy places… made them NOH8 places..!
NY Style Pizza & Primos on my Ledge tonight!!
We should get some cushions for the ledge. I imagine it to be concrete. And McMo had McSoreA$$ when she joined us. We definitely need cushions.
First- I made the recap – Sqquuuuueeeee
Second- Danno and I have similiar housekeeping and cooking styles. We will live in pigsty and starve, but we will do so in compatible glee.
Third- Vacation on the Battleship- so funny. My brother in law, like McG, is Lt.Cmdr on Aircraft carrier. Navy boys playing with airplanes confusereres me all the time- especially when BIL and Sis lived in Oklahoma on Airbase.
Forth- HIIIIIIIIII
Fifth- Don’t worry about length of recap, we will fill in blanks about Danno’s blue blue eyes and beautiful arms and that other guy he hangs out with
There should be an exclusive club for those of us who have made the recap. Kind of like the Mile High Club, only much more exclusive and prestigious.
Sixth- I spelled Fourth wrong -dope
You need coffee!!
Can´t believe I made my latest serious page post just before this appeared on my screen
I´m telepathic…
“How was your vacation with Catherine on the battleship?”
YES. Loved this. Nicely done, Show.
“- Josie, while taking a suck and getting ready to get her alcoholic on is walking through the trees when she comes upon some man in a tribal red set of Pampers, screaming and covered in blood.”
“Oh yeah, cuz out-of-towners walking through the forest alone is a really good idea.” – actually spoken by me to the tv screen. I was so disappointed that she wasn’t killered! Fast forward to aforementioned silly girl, now sitting at the HHV bar, sucking down her 6th Mai Tai and talking story about the dead guy with red pampers. All the other female tourists at the bar want to know is… did she see peen?
But more importantly… super happy me to see MORE CAMO!!!!! Poor Steve. Exhausted from Super Sealing all over the “boat” and eyes/xing Cath amongst whenever possible (and poor FOY for having to stay hidden), then coming home to a real-life ep of mini-Hoarders in his living room. My panties tingled when he hit the smoke alarm. Believe.
Danny really is a little piggy, sorry Lainie. Show would have been very funny if the coffee table was covered in hair products.
LaHagela: Oh, that would have been funny..hair products on the table.
I know if I came home to that mess, Danno would have been wearing that skillet up side his head. Which reminds me, was Monkey somewhere in the house? Or was Danno thinking of taking his fritatas to go? McMo
Gotta agree – if I came home to a house filled with smoke -never mind all the other mess – and the person who caused of the smoke was not at all concerned and not trying to air it out – I’d be p/ssed too. Maybe the reason Danno has no home is everywhere he goes to live he gets evicted on account of his homemaking skills. (sorry Danno fans – I know he still has many fine qualities & apparently swimming is one of them)
Tis why show can be so good…5 minute showers, not allowing dog on bed and spic and span clean would make me crazy. Someone for everyone.
McMo — Which reminds me, was Monkey somewhere in the house ?
Maybe she was hiding under the ‘piles’ ?
naw, she was upstairs with Dog jumping on the bed.
In truth, I think Danny was just practicing, so he could make best frittata ever for Monkey, because he wants to give her the best of everything, and can’t compete with StepStan’s money. Poor Danny.
In truth .. ACA with you Lainie, I thought he was ‘practicing’ also.
Lainie: “Danny was just practicing making the frittata.” Ahh, I see. Makes perfect sense now.
BTW: I must confess to you, you are right about Scott Caan. I had never watched him in anyting before H50 and really didn’t get him at first, but I’ve grown to really appreciate the talented and charismatic actor he is. He has become one of the highlights of the show for me. Hugsies, McMo
McMo! I feel like this is the moment when I finally “got” Josef from ML only w/you & dear Danno! I feel so warm & fuzzy!
“then coming home to a real-life ep of mini-Hoarders in his living room.”
I have a pile system. I have a desk in my room from back in the day when I was a student. Now it makes for a great place to dump things. It’s okay Danno, I love a good pile system.
” My panties tingled when he hit the smoke alarm. Believe.”"
Heh I laughed (in a good way, because I loved it) when he did that. He made it looks so effortless where as if it was me I would be jumping up and down trying to reach it before I just admitted defeat and went and got a chair to stand on.
I still have lecture notes in carrier bags back from when I was a student!
But what did McG say right before he said aircraft carrier? Sounded like “a week’s worth of ATA ..” Of course my mind was still in a fog from when he said “my bed”!
something about 18 hour(s) ??
I got something he can do for 18 hours. And I don’t care if a little dog hair is involved.
Spursy: Who are you kidding…you would work around the d@mn dog, let alone the hair. Who am I kidding, so would I. McMo
OK, thanks. That makes sense.
Loved this episode. I started smiling as soon as they showed the military aircraft coming in to land because I just knew McG was on it. And Spurschick, ACA re: CAMO! Can’t tell you how many times I watched last scene from previous week just to see him dressed like that!
I loved that view of the air force plane coming on for a landing. Gave me tingles just like it did in the Pilot episode. Panties giggled uncontrollably until I told them to shut up or go back to the dresser drawer. Chagrined, they shut TFU, but glared at me.
I pretty much started grinning at the plane and kept on grinning. I need to put a lock on my panty drawer.
Karin: I listened again and I can’t make out anything but “a week’s worth of A ….” Another fine example of McMumbles doing his thing. It sounded military related so I’m sure INFANT can shed some light…when ever she gets her bum on this freaken ledge. McMo
He said AT, it stands for Annual Training. It’s supposed to be two weeks, which is what they said at the end of 2.16, how it went to one I dunno. All Navy Reservists have to complete two weeks of this annual training each year they are in the reserves.
McNerd out.
In my version of the story it was one week of AT and one week of S/x Boot-camp, McG Styles with Cath.
“AT, Annual Training.” And Infant comes to the rescue once again. Thanks. McMo
You’re welcome mate. I am not looking forward to the day when I can’t answer one of your questions. Will I lose my street cred?
“will I lose my street cred?” ….NEVER, you are set for life, Infant….and I think we’ll never see that day in any case!!
Set for life? Yay. Well there was that question I couldn’t answer last week about why the leaf on a Lt. Commanders insignia is the colour it is but heyyy I can tell you heaps of other stuff….all equally useless.
Infant: I’m with FOYeur…you will never, evah lose your street cred. You will always be the “FUCUP go to gal” for all questions military. Well, I might be able to be of some use regarding guns & ammo, but other than than…you da gal ! Hugsies, McFirepower
Thanks for the McNerding, Infant. I was also surprised at his mention of 1 week because I thought he had said 2 weeks in the last episode. Not so. All he said is “due for his reserve drill” with no mention of time. I think because we know what it is supposed to be (Army Reserve is the same, 2 weeks) our brains just automatically included that info with our memory of the scene.
Orrr … our brains just wanted him to be v v happy with Cath and so gave him the extra week. Either way, go brains!
Karin, nice pick up. I was convinced, 100%, would have bet money on it that he said two weeks. Maybe in my head he said that…and only you heard it?
Great minds mate.
How much do I love that Infant knows all that is military? V V V much.
I just finished reading a book about SEAL Team 6. Guess how full of useless knowledge I am now?
http://neropatti.tumblr.com/private/18279534394/tumblr_lzz3lpboQF1r5wrcl (hope the link works 1st try)
this is the audio from his line, who´s the caracter he refers to at the end…Emeril? is it a cartoon caracter, anyone?
A chef, apparently, I already McNerded it.
How rude of Show to not realize the non-Americans (maybe even just the non-USAers) might not know who the heck Emeril Lagasse is. Obnoxiously famous chef. BAM!
LOL. Yeah I chalked this up to another American reference show likes to throw in there from time to time. The rest of the world just went WTF and rolled their eyes.
Yeah, it’s a bit much. There should be explanatory subtitles.
We Canucks know all about the BAM man. Unfortunately.
Not an Emeril fan either. But … I expect his favorite expletive “BAM” might fit in well during activities at McG’s s3x bootcamp!
Thank u! Just had a full on p0rnograohic visual of s.x boot camp…….BAM! BAM! BAM! slap..slap..slap..slap..BAM! BAM! BAM! slap..slap..slap..slap..BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!
To translate from Emeril-speak into McG s.x bootcamp-speak:
“Let’s kick it up a notch!” = “Let’s s.x it up a notch!”
Like reference McG made last week to Danny’s outbid by $1. ‘What is this, The Price is Right’?–Stealth CBS self-promo….
Are there other countries’ versions of TPIR?
McG is a secret Food network and TV game show fan.
The UK has it.
Is the host as cool as retired Bob Barker or his replacement comedian Drew Carey?
Various hosts, it stopped in ’07 apparently.
Yes, it stopped because it was a big pile is steaming poop!! Just sayin’
We used to have one but not anymore.
Paula: Ohhhhh, I really like the lightening strikes you’ve got going on with AOL’s name. Very cool. How talented you are.
You know, even listening to him say “AT” and knowing what he’s saying, I still found it hard to understand the “T” part. I think our man is beyond tired. McMo
Just want to comment on “Josie” but how annoying was she to be around? I kind of get what she was thinking, but if they all work for a company and came for a team building exercise – surely it is because one of them – JOSIE – does not know how to function as a team member. I loved that no one took her up on her offer. Good teamwork guys!
So as she walked off to make her spa appt – I was yelling at the screen – like you’d get a cell signal in the middle of the jungle – then she lost the call – so I felt better. The only bad thing was she did get taken by the black smoke monster while she was there – oops wrong show.
I thought Josie was annoying the second I saw her in the sneak peak. And then she started walking through the jungle and paid no attention to where she was walking. Real smart lady. Real. Smart.
shoot – meant to say did not get taken
The idea of “team building” exercises makes me want to vomit,exceptions being FOY activities!
Session #1: proper techniques on sharing The FOY with your FUCUP sisters.
Session #2: proper way to form a slut pile so as not to harm The FOY.
Sign me up for both sessions!
I’ll sign up for FOY activity teambuilding any day……and I trust the “sister H00kers” on here enough in any case(don’t have to test it in the jungle and I think most of us would go for the drinking game without being bribed)
They’ll always catch you, even and especially if you fall off “The Ledge” on recap night or any night for that matter!
All FOY teambuilding activities involve drinking! And we won’t let anyone fall off the ledge. Trust
ACA … No one falls from ledge. Especially mine, cause its only a few feet from the ground ! #ScaredOfHeights
Like Steves “blindfolded poor schmuck” ledge?
Good grief. Not THAT high up !
hehehehe…ur right that was terrifying!
Loved the bit about Danny’s dog being in Steve’s bed and Danny realising he’s digging himself deeper in with each thing he says so he asks about Catherine on the battleship.
Loved the way Danny changed the topic!!
Danny’s explainings about the doggie bed could have been taken 2 ways:
1. There wasn’t enough room for Danny AND dog on sofa, so they BOTH slept Steve’s bed…..Danno in Steve’s bed……and the slashies go wild.
2. There wasn’t enough room for dog to join Danny on sofa, so Danny sent dog upstairs to sleep on Steve’s bed.
I think that it was scenario #2. Danny’s blanket were on the sofa.
Hee, hee–#2 is what doggie did on Steve’s office floor…..so many eps. ago.
I’m sensing that Steve is not a dog person. Is he a cat person?
Danny likes the sofa so he can watch TV. The dog’s obviously like Steve and likes the quiet.
In any case…….lucky dog!! I’ll take that bed any day, preferably with Pantsless McG in it as well
Let’s go back a minute to the warriors in the red pampers — first thing I thought was “finally, SHOW got our message about pantslessness”. But I guess we need to be more specific about WHO we want pantsless….
SHOW is kind of dense, isn’t it?!?! Are we mumbling here?!?
^ACA^
‘Tis hard (like FOY) to be a FUCUP in Atplenkov’s universe.
At this point of season, I’ll be happy if McG would #justtakehisshirtoff again….I’m v v happy on rare occasion he wears shorts, like at the Stairmaster of Death. #showmesomelegs #pantslesswisheshopesdreams
Ok, speaking of dogs, do dogs really have to go into…urgh, I can’t think of the word…..lets use “confinement” when they are brought into hawaii? urgh quarantine!!!!! because thats how danno’s poor dog died, yet scott has his dog in Oahu?