New format this week and maybe the same in the future. I am quite low on energy for Show and so will not be recapping in as great detail as prior. As such, this week’s recap (and maybe all future) will be shorter, with my sole focus on the funny, ridiculous, and gorgeous. You have all watched the episodes, and so you’ll know, like the good FUCUP H00kers that you are. Let’s see how this goes!
- Dumb people who weren’t brea$tfed as babies are throwing themselves backwards into the arms of other dumb people, also not brea$tfed as infants. I have never understood this exercise. Honestly. All this says to me is that people are dumb. And they may crack their heads because other people are dumb, too.
- Also, that guy asking Josie what’s up, is he J-Lo’s ex husband?
- Josie needs to buy her friends, because how else would you explain that she just tried to bribe them with drinks, so that they would stop propelling themselves backwards into the arms of dumb people while blind-folded?
- Josie, while taking a suck and getting ready to get her alcoholic on is walking through the trees when she comes upon some man in a tribal red set of Pampers, screaming and covered in blood. He has just finished his long weekend at S/x Boot-camp, McG Styles.
- More Elvis singing, and though this might lead one to believe that Show is going to show us Daniel in bed with Rac Hell, he is in fact burning a fritata (a word not in my spell check) at McG Shangri-La.
- Oh look, McG slaps the fire alarm to quiet its screaming. Audience confirms that this is also how he calms screaming women down during Sex Boot-camp, McG Styles. Can’t wait!
- “How was your vacation with Catherine on the battleship?” made me laugh my pants right off, and the subsequent McG response that he was not on a Battleship but rather an “aircraft carrier…different boats” made me laugh just as hard. Well done, Show.
- At the crime scene, McG hitches his pants, Hiro-Max talks about time travel, Daniel — smelling like a burnt fritata — worries about the chaffing caused by Red Pampers. Also, Alex O’Loughlin looks about 12 years younger (and so only 52 years old) and he keeps eyes/xing the trees to remind us how handsome devil masculine his big thighs really are, since we’re talking about chaffing.
- There appear to be a hundred warriors re-enacting some…thing. I really don’t wish to upset anyone’s cultural heritage. Calling them Red Pampers is enough for one day. Especially because there’s a man with mushrooms lodged into his head (which, maybe Daniel can use for his fritata?):
- And if you’re wondering from where Daniel found his wee blow horn, it’s in fact what he uses to provide shape to the Pompadour. As soon as scene was finished, he tucked it right back beneath his fold (not to be confused with Lainie’s fold, beneath which she regularly tucks Daniel).
- As soon as everyone is told to chill, King Rooster (Mamo) comes over to have a loving chat with McG’s awesome fkn curls.
- Mamo tells McG and Daniel that Doctors, Teachers, and professionals don’t commit crime. HA HA HA!!!! As Show tells us on the regular, only criminals commit crime, because Show plays only in black and white, unless it’s about moral irresponsibility.
- P.S. McG surely has a Red Pamper at home. Surely.