Oh my goodness, please don’t make this episode about our collective McG-Spot because the title, contextualized with the cuntpunt of abandonment he has already suffered is making me want to wee myself in anticipation.
North Shore, there is a woman who forgot her pantalons at home. A really not scary at all van with a psychotic looking bald man pulls up. This girl’s nips are hard and showing and I want to take a massive bat to the bald guy’s head.
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! This woman has a set of t/ts like no one’s business, eh? When she’s running, the camera is actually jiggling along with her.
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD TWICE REMOVED. I actually gasped out loud when whoever was in the 2nd truck grabbed her head and didn’t instead try to go for a breast. But that was epic, no? When they pulled her entire body into the car? And seriously, h00ker, the f/ck runs up to a car asking if they’re with the tow truck company when there’s no sign on the truck? Or a big rig in the back that indicates: tow.
But as she’s a fem, and as we know Show doesn’t like fems very much, she is dumb as a door nail. Thanks God for her big breasts because they make her believable in her face.
McG-Spot is in the rehabs, and Daniel’s hair is extra hard today. When he reads the letter from Steven in Steven’s voice-over, he forgot to read out loud: P.S. I LOVE YOU LIKE A LOVE SONG, DANNO XXXXXO TO THE MILLIONTH.
P.S. to the P.S. I am a handsome devil masculine manly man with thighs meant for bronzing.
Oh. And McG-Spot’s off to find That Bald Man who he believes is a lying liar who lies, like we have been saying at Sardonic since day one. And if I haven’t said that out loud, then let me tell you maybe I am re-writing history because I am SO. FU/KING.. EXCITED to be watching 5-0. For reals.
At the crime scene with Breasts, Hiro-Max is not believable in his face when he says he is alright after fondling breasts.
By the way, when Kono showed the boys the photo of Breasts and asked if that was their vic, they said yes and I yelled HOW? HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU CAN’T SEE HER BREASTS FOR CONFIRMATION?
No one answered me back, because everyone’s McG-Spot is missing. And us dangling FUCUPS being sluts? This means we are v v sad.
Breasts Momma is crying without tears. Maybe she has a condition called Nontearitits, and her daughter has Alltitsitus. Ha ha ha ha!!
Oh, wait. There’s a tear; I guess one of the crew members just sprayed her in the face. In her not believable face. (That’s today’s theme, by the way.)
HOLY SH/T!!!!! CHARLIE FONG AND HIS BIG DONG CUT THEIR HAIR!!!! You know what? He is VERY believable in his face, and he is so hot with this new hair situation and in this t-shirt now? Prey that Kono is climbing onto that head on a very regular basis. And then it’s taped and the video leaked on the internets. Wait. Did I just blur the lines of life and reality?
CHARLIE FONG, I AM TOTALLY AVAILABLE FOR A S/XING SCANDAL!! CALL ME!!
DEAREST MAHA I LOVE YOU LIKE A LOVE SONG FOR REALSIES.
M! You’re back. Like a long lost friend. Yippie skippy!
I am totes so fukken excited! Ask my g spot!!
Yayyyyyyyyyyy!
McG-Spot. 4ever.
Yes, I’m going to post for a third time now becuz I am so excited to be reading a recap that I have completely forgotten the rules of Planet Recap.
The reading of the letter made my panties cry. They were sad and droopy.
Can we talk about McG’s pretty handwriting here? He was having a non-BAMFy cursive moment. On paper. Like my grandmother.
I still maintain that was not Alex’s handwriting. It can’t be! It sure as heck shouldn’t be Steve’s, It’s so unmanly.
I swear to God, I thought the i’s would be dotted with little hearts. Do no men on the production team know how to write letters?
LOL! Love the handwriting analysis portion of the recap commentings! Why didn’t McG add at the end of letter, “Do you still like me? Check YES or NO”?
Your BFFITWWW
And on his diary he has I <3 Catherine Forever.
He’d better!
It’s not Steve’s handwriting – recall way back in episode 1.1 in the korean truck convoy – manly masculine printing in all caps. Hmm, maybe he only writes like that when he’s wearing the thigh holsters?
Exactly. And when he sits down to write “Dear Danno” letters he takes his time & does it right & makes it legible & nice as he can. I’m 100% believing it’s McG’s handwriting (and maybe even Alex’s) because … I don’t know because show sometimes misses the boat and effs up big stuff but gets odd details right & I just think this is one of them.
LOL. Thigh holster on…write in caps like the manly man you are. No thigh holster and leaving a Dear Danno note for your BFF…thoughtful cursive writing with hearts and x’s and o’s.
Heh!
I thought it was girlie handwriting too!! Show really dropped the ball on this one!
I loved that he used 5-0 headed paper. I mean, Danny’s going to know it’s from him right? Love polite Steve.
On the other hand: do not love non-ecological Steve. Really, he could have grabbed any old piece of scrap from the recycling. USE BOTH SIDES OF THE PAPER McG!!!
YAY, Maha’s has returned to her faithful followers. I’ve missed you so much Mama and your wonderous recaps. Now I’ve got to re-watch this puppy cause it’s been too long and I don’t remember what the He!! the episode was all about. YAY…Mama’s back!! McMo
YOU ALL MUST REWATCH!! TIS THE AIM OF RECAPPING SO LATE!!!!
I love you too McMo.
And while I am not responding to all of the love individually, I will put it here: I love you sl/uts all in your believable faces!!!!!!!!!
XOXOXOXOXO
I just saw this ep tonight. For me your timing is PERFECT!
Love you in your preeeettteeeee believable face!!!
Ha ha! “In your pretty believable face” made me laugh.
Thank you! Love you too!
The way Steve called him Danno in the letter was sweet. It’s usually in a more bantery sort of way.
Mama’s back! We missed you, babe!
Having seen the ep already,
(spoiler)
Her ta-tas are big for a reason, maybe?
She has momma juice in them because she just gave up her baby?
You had me h00ked at McG-Spot! Classic Sardonicness!
sqqquuuueee- I am glad you are back for it means you are all settled in and ready to go….. hugsies to the max….speaking of max…..show let max step up to the plate and be #4 and he fit nicely.
Did anyone else just really love Danny in the scene with Breasts’s mum? I could convert back sometimes, I really could.
Hmmm I remember thinking Danny was insensitive in that scene. Unless I’m remembering it wrong. Which is entirely possible.
really? no- not insensitive at all- I remember feeling his pain because he always thinks as a dada in these moments.
I didn’t think insensitive either – not only is he a dada and a very protective dada at that, but the woman’s daughter was kidnapped and murdered, and with what happened to Monkey in the not too distant past, I thought he was really empathising with her in a ‘there but for the grace of God’ kind of way.
(‘Grace’ – heh. See what I did there?)