Oh my goodness, please don’t make this episode about our collective McG-Spot because the title, contextualized with the cuntpunt of abandonment he has already suffered is making me want to wee myself in anticipation.
North Shore, there is a woman who forgot her pantalons at home. A really not scary at all van with a psychotic looking bald man pulls up. This girl’s nips are hard and showing and I want to take a massive bat to the bald guy’s head.
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! This woman has a set of t/ts like no one’s business, eh? When she’s running, the camera is actually jiggling along with her.
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD TWICE REMOVED. I actually gasped out loud when whoever was in the 2nd truck grabbed her head and didn’t instead try to go for a breast. But that was epic, no? When they pulled her entire body into the car? And seriously, h00ker, the f/ck runs up to a car asking if they’re with the tow truck company when there’s no sign on the truck? Or a big rig in the back that indicates: tow.
But as she’s a fem, and as we know Show doesn’t like fems very much, she is dumb as a door nail. Thanks God for her big breasts because they make her believable in her face.
McG-Spot is in the rehabs, and Daniel’s hair is extra hard today. When he reads the letter from Steven in Steven’s voice-over, he forgot to read out loud: P.S. I LOVE YOU LIKE A LOVE SONG, DANNO XXXXXO TO THE MILLIONTH.
P.S. to the P.S. I am a handsome devil masculine manly man with thighs meant for bronzing.
Oh. And McG-Spot’s off to find That Bald Man who he believes is a lying liar who lies, like we have been saying at Sardonic since day one. And if I haven’t said that out loud, then let me tell you maybe I am re-writing history because I am SO. FU/KING.. EXCITED to be watching 5-0. For reals.
At the crime scene with Breasts, Hiro-Max is not believable in his face when he says he is alright after fondling breasts.
By the way, when Kono showed the boys the photo of Breasts and asked if that was their vic, they said yes and I yelled HOW? HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU CAN’T SEE HER BREASTS FOR CONFIRMATION?
No one answered me back, because everyone’s McG-Spot is missing. And us dangling FUCUPS being sluts? This means we are v v sad.
Breasts Momma is crying without tears. Maybe she has a condition called Nontearitits, and her daughter has Alltitsitus. Ha ha ha ha!!
Oh, wait. There’s a tear; I guess one of the crew members just sprayed her in the face. In her not believable face. (That’s today’s theme, by the way.)
HOLY SH/T!!!!! CHARLIE FONG AND HIS BIG DONG CUT THEIR HAIR!!!! You know what? He is VERY believable in his face, and he is so hot with this new hair situation and in this t-shirt now? Prey that Kono is climbing onto that head on a very regular basis. And then it’s taped and the video leaked on the internets. Wait. Did I just blur the lines of life and reality?
CHARLIE FONG, I AM TOTALLY AVAILABLE FOR A S/XING SCANDAL!! CALL ME!!